We Are The World

The trailer for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie came out today, which I thought was important enough to warrant a post, so that I could capture and document this moment in my life forever. Sometimes you just get a sense that something so momentous is happening that you’ll want to look back on this years from now so you can revisit it as honest to gosh history. I can’t imagine anything else that has happened in my life over the last seven months that would qualify, which hopefully explains the long duration between posts.

I don’t know if I have a new take on it that hasn’t already been splattered all over the internet already, but mainly I just want to emphasize the core sentiment here, which is…why? I’m struggling so much to make sense of the reason that this exists. Has Sonic recently spring jumped back into collective pop culture consciousness to justify any of this? Presumably some people needed to pay some money to some other people to make this. Are they trying to tap into the nostalgia of today’s 30 or 40 year-olds, in the hopes they want to bring their young children to watch this…? But it doesn’t seem like that type of movie…?

What a terrifying and senseless world we have created for our children to inhabit.

Moving onto other business…

– This is True Detective Pikachu, which still isn’t half as horrifying as that Sonic…although still very horrifying. It’s those Asian eyes. Amazing McConaughey impression though, to the point where I thought it was originally audio pulled straight from the source.

– Then a short hop over to The Matthew McConaughTree which visualizes the top 100 permutations of 10,000 attempts to spell Matthew McConaughey’s last name. I personally fall off the double-N branch every time, and have yet to do it without confirming from a Google search first. The tree data is pulled from The Gyllenhaal Experiment which is another excellent way to waste your time and at the same time feel bad about your spelling of celebrity last names.

– This continued Anthem drama is absolutely delicious to me, even though I don’t really have a dog in the fight, as I don’t believe in dog fighting as a metaphor for disagreements. We shouldn’t have any dogs in any fights. Unless it’s a dog fighting a bear in defense of its family in a life or death situation or something, I don’t know, I’m not saying 0% of dog fights are acceptable. That’s an absolute statement I’m not ready to make yet.

After the fascinating Kotaku article alleging all sorts of creative and cultural issues with Bioware’s development of the game, it doesn’t seem like anything’s really corrected. This whole thing is like a No Man’s Sky level disaster, with reports of a broken loot system, general loading screen and logistical issues, and even stuff like how due to oversights with level balancing the default starting rifle remained the best weapon in the game. Updates and fixes promised to be delivered post-launch have been indefinitely delayed, and allegedly a dwindling playerbase is causing matchmaking problems.

That Forbes article by the way, is pretty garbage, just one guy’s opinion phrased in a way that resembles news. No references to sources or anything, just some guy saying some stuff. It’s not hard to link to some stuff to justify it either. Anyone can check the list of most played game on Xbox and see Anthem is currently ranked 45 out of 48 games, behind clunkers like Fallout 76 or previous iterations of Mortal Kombat and NBA2K. So you can only imagine how well the PC gamer crowd is taking it. Additionally, taking a look at the Twitch category for the game, there are currently rougly 300K subscribers and 350ish active viewers at time of writing. Compared to similar loot shooters like Destiny 2 (3.3 million subs and 4K viewers) or the newer Division 2 (comparable 340K subs but 2K+ viewers), it doesn’t seem great. I mean I bet they would even be happy with Farming Simulator 19 numbers at this point.

I take no joy in watching one of my favourite companies take such a bath with now a pretty bad second misstep, but I think the accepted reality is that the Bioware that we remember from such games as Mass Effect or Star Wars: The Old Republic, is no longer. And maybe we should be actively rooting against the success of these types of games. With a falling playerbase on a pseudo-MMO games as a service platform, I think we’re seeing the usual MMO-drain-spiral, where less players means less incoming money which means less resources to dedicate to fixes or updates which means repeat from less players. At this rate, Anthem will be on the streets turning tricks for their next hit, free to play within months. Considering they pulled the plug on Andromeda patches and DLCs less than six months after launch, you really couldn’t fault Anthem fans for looking at Bioware’s initial claims of stories “for years to come” with skepticism. This entire scummy industry trend with GaaS is disheartening, with either incomplete games like Anthem getting pooped out with empty promises of improvements to follow later, or games like Star Wars Battlefront II or Mortal Kombat 11 initially launching with predatory monetization elements that are eventually backtracked due to public backlash. This is a major game release from a major publisher, this shouldn’t be happening. And if it takes a few studios bombing with some sucky releases to change that, then so be it. Yes, I bought some skins for Mass Effect 2 a decade ago because I thought they were cool and I thought it was a fair exchange for the number of hours of entertainment and alien lesbian relationship role playing the game provided to me. I didn’t know I was opening the floodgates to all of this!

– From the department of videos named literally what they are that still get you, here is Making chainsaw noises while cutting cheese and Watch A Woman Tell Her Husband She’s Pregnant While Conan O’Brien Pours Good Milk Down The Sink. I can really sympathize with the sentiment of the latter. Sometimes you just want to destroy something beautiful and like…pour a lot of perfectly fine milk down the drain.

Think of the hubris it must take to, yank a soul out of non-existence into this…meat. To force a life into this…thresher.

The Polo Zoo

Today I’d like to introduce you to the Polo Zoo, which is basically a collection of polos with embroidered animal logos that I have be striving to identify and acquire for a number of years now. If you must know, currently my collection stands at like…two. Because, look, some of these polos are ridiculously expensive. Seriously, what type of normal person has like $150 to spare for a polo shirt?

Here are some arbitrary rules I’ve made up to define the scope of this collection.

1) Short sleeve polo shirts that must be available for men. So for example this disqualifies things like this Brannan Bear polo from Gap, which has long sleeves. Also, it is for babies. Like literal children and infants, it’s not available in an adult size.

2) It must be an embroidered logo, without any additional fluff around it or text. So for example the Roots beaver is out, since I’ve yet to see the beaver logo on its own without the matching “Roots” text under it, nor have I seen it embroidered as opposed to screen printed. Also I don’t think I’ve ever seen a short sleeve polo shirt from Roots. This also disqualifies polo shirts where the logo is on a crest or a patch or something ironed on instead of embroidered directly on the shirt. Must also just contain just the animal logo with minimal extra decals, and no text surrounding the logo. For example this shirt from Paul & Shark which violates both of the previous rules – it is both on a crest instead of a logo embroidered directly on the shirt, and also contains the company title. Fortunately they have a plain shark logo offering which appears below.

3) Maintain the purity of the zoo concept. Imagine the whole logo could actually belong to a real zoo, as is. For example, no Ralph Lauren or Burberry, who both have logos of a man riding a horse. You could put a horse in a zoo, but not the man, this is not intended to be like a morbid intergalactic zoo owned by The Collector or something. Too high concept. For example Ferrari polos would be valid…except they violate Rule #2 as the horse is on a crest. Also no anthropomorphic animals. For example, Ralph Lauren’s anthropomorphic Polo Bear, who is commonly seen dressed like a human being (and in some cases with polo gear on, which makes you really wonder about the nature of the horses that a bear would ride). Anthropomorphic bears wearing human clothes implies sentience and I’m just not ready to answer the moral and ethical questions that would come with throwing such an intelligent bear in a zoo. This would also disqualify a polo with Mickey Mouse on it as a mouse logo, for example. Note that I have made exceptions below for Jack Wills and Original Penguin, which seem to both feature regular birds dressed (unwittingly by a human perhaps…?) in formal attire. Also for BAPE, who have based their logo on characters from Planet of the Apes. So although the logo could be interpreted as the face of a regular old chimpanzee…we are all keenly aware that this is not actually the case, and these apes are indeed sentient. Honestly I’m not sure how to feel about these choices. History may judge me harshly.

4) Reasonable availability. I should be able to go out and buy one with reasonable effort (if you can call dropping $150 on a polo shirt to be “reasonable”) so these can’t be from a limited collector item run or anything like that. For example, Thomas Pink’s Cheeky Fox or Marc Jacobs’ Stinky Rat are no longer available for sale, so those are off the list. If I have to go on eBay or third party sites to source your polo shirts, I can’t add you to the list. These should all be directly available from reasonably large, national or global brands. I can’t be expected to dig through every single Etsy shop or mom and pop apparel company with an embroidery machine for entrees to this list. Also, no custom build-it-yourself polos, which disqualifies Ralph Lauren’s custom polos which feature a few types of regular dogs. Listen, Ralph Lauren polo shirts are expensive, best believe I’m throwing all the made up rules I can at them to disqualify them from the collection.

5) Conformity. In order to establish a uniform look, it has to conform to the approximate standard size and position of all these other polo shirt logos. Say…I don’t know…an approximately coin-sized logo? So none of this craziness from KENZO, who also have a smaller logo that breaks Rule #2 for featuring text within the logo. Also no Fox Racing who put their oversized logos up at the shoulder.

6) No sports teams. I think it just goes against the core concept, and there’s just too much extra baggage that comes with wearing like a Chicago Bulls or Florida Panthers polo shirt around. What, am I a fan of their training staff…? I guess this could also apply to other non-apparel companies with animal logos, although I can’t think of any at the moment that would be reasonably available for purchase.

Okay, good? I mean there are numerous other exceptions and contradictions I’ve made to stretch the criteria, but that’s the general framework we’re working with here. It’s not an exact science, I’m talking about logos on polos.

Chimpanzee – A Bathing Ape

Crocodile – Lacoste

Eagle – American Eagle

Elephant – Banana Republic

Kangaroo – Kangol

Lion – Express

Moose – Abercrombie & Fitch

Penguin – Original Penguin

Pheasant – Jack Wills

Puma – Puma

Rabbit – Psycho Bunny

Rhinoceros – ECKO

Rooster – Le Coq Sportif

Sailfish – Tommy Bahama

Seagull – Hollister

Shark – Paul & Shark

Sheep – Brooks Brothers

Skipjack Tuna – Southern Tide

Turtle – Vilebrequin

Whale – Vineyard Vines

Zebra – Paul Smith

Some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food,
The only thing I’m hunting for,
Is an outfit that looks good…

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

It is upon us!

Actually I think it may have snowed already earlier this week, but I didn’t actually see it happen. I’ve been home a lot and haven’t been outside much, you see. So for all I know it wasn’t actual snowfall and could have been instead like some sort of aggressive frost arising from the ground. I mean if I didn’t actually experience it myself, then who knows what really happened? Reality is subjective, right?

Snow dad’s better than no dad!

She Was Only 16 Years Old

It’s hard to think of a more fitting metaphor for the last 16 years here than this montage of The Rock continuously falling throughout the majority of the last two decades. What starts relatively slow and controlled just descends deeper and faster than what you thought possible, ultimately ends in a foolish misguided leap of ambition, face down in the concrete. And downward. Always downward.

One day I will find the courage to end this.

I mean this site, obviously, I don’t want police combing through my internet history after my death and ruling it all a suicide. If my death is not from murder or heart disease then consider it super fishy!

I have always toyed with the idea of starting a smaller sub-site, like something that would mirror the topics and interests of the original but finding it’s own way and path in the end to become a new, unique combination of good and bad. But it’s difficult to think in those terms, and I can imagine nothing else that really mirrors what I’m trying to express. Maybe something to think more about in the years to come.

Here’s to another.

“You thinking what I’m thinking partner?”
“Aim for the bushes.”

A Random June Post

What do you mean “am I still posting stuff to The WAMBAG?” What am I doing with my life? What are YOU doing with YOUR life? Why are YOU posting stuff on The WAMBAG still, huh!?!

– Look at this fucking shit, Mahjong “artisan” keycaps. Twenty American dollars for a piece of plastic created in the likeness of a Mahjong tile so that you can put it on a key on your keyboard. Fucking crazy right? I think it is the greatest thing ever and I want to buy like a dozen of them.

– Hey, remember when the Oscars happened like…three months ago? I’m sure this link to a Lonely Island song concept is still funny and relevant today, in June.

– Ah, posting a new Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis feels just like old times again. There’s a lot of the same motions here…which I think is good, people want to hear the classics. But the whole thing has a funny meta thing to it, being a video in the late 2010’s now, containing an icon of what was funny in the late 1990’s and his late 2000’s counterpart. Although Old Man Jerry’s crankiness is a hilarious angle he didn’t have before, which I would argue is the new fresh spin that makes it work. Hey, we live in a world where Sting and Shaggy got together somehow and it works great. Let’s mix more wacky things together, I’m all for it now. (Is this a weird veiled statement about interracial marriage? I will leave that up to your interpretation, dear reader!)

– And in keeping with the general temporal tone of this post, have I discovered a new fetish in watching Natalie Portman eat spicy food? And more importantly, how does this stack against watching Nicole Kidman enthusiastically eating insects? Honestly I could have written this entire post ten years ago. I mean, maybe I did already. Absolutely nothing has changed. There’s only so many permutations I’m capable of here.

– Here is a video titled Heartbreaking: Hibachi Chef Tries to Make Meal on a Regular Table and it is everything it says it is. It came out over a year ago but fuck it, I’m posting it anyway.

How dare you? You don’t think I know how much my wife weighs in dead animals?

What’s In The Box?

I have some stuff here that you should watch or click on.

– I just learned about a man called Chris Gethard who apparently has a show called The Chris Gethard Show which is either a real television show that is also posted on YouTube or maybe just a YouTube only production…? Fusion…? I don’t know, I’ve only just now seen this one episode with Paul Scheer and Jason Mantzoukas called One Man’s Trash. The entire premise of this episode is that they try and guess what is inside a dumpster. That’s it. And it is the most riveting thing you will watch this year. It’s like waiting to see the outcome of a Anton Chigurh coin flip, but for like 43 fucking straight minutes. I can’t speak to the quality of a single second of this show outside of this episode, but (outside of that weird wrestling promo into the middle that I have no context for) every single second of this episode is amazing. Please, watch this.

– I am very confident in saying that this will be the best song you have heard yet with “terabyte of porn” as the hook. Although I’m not quite ready to proclaim it as the greatest song that you will ever hear with “terabyte of porn” as the hook. The future holds many possibilities. It’s got like a soulful, jazzy sR&BA channel with 114 subscribers should not be making videos this good. And by that I mean, they should have many more subscribers and this should have a lot more views (EDIT: whoa, it really took off after I wrote this). Two bonus things I also loved about this include the FBI badge made with blue ballpoint pen, and the disgusted and reluctant look on her face as she starts getting into the song at the end. Quality all around.

– Congratulations to everyone that called for the next guy to follow the Liam Neeson career arc from dramatic actor to grizzled 50+ year-old action star being…Bob Odenkirk! I mean…I have no idea how you looked at this guy and saw it all play out like this, but I’m sure some of you exist out there, and to you I say kudos.

In what has become something of a signature for Odenkirk, well-known his role as Saul Goodman/Jimmy McGill, the actor will play everyday man who gets pushed past his limits.

Yes, like all of us everyday men who have the capability within us to become Keanu-like whirlwinds of horrific headshot violence. I mean…John Wick killed two guys with a pencil. Saul Goodman works at a Cinnabon in Nebraska!

“Lemon, do you think I’m a villain?”
“Well I have heard you say ‘Guards, seize him!'”
“I was a Knicks game, they needed to stop the clock.”

Stone Buddha, The Final Boss

This past Sunday, the Toronto Blue Jays announced the signing of Seung-hwan Oh to a major league contract, likely signifying the end of their offseason moves. Reports are that he will be paid $1.75 million for 2018, with $1.5 million in possible incentives, and a $250K buyout for a 2019 option that will vest automatically for $2 million at 70 appearances. So basically $2 million guaranteed for 2018, and if he’s good enough to justify pitching in 70 games then that means keeping him for a tidy $2 million for next year will be pretty decent too. A depth signing for $2 million is not bad at all, but there’s a lot to like with Oh.

Oh was a dominant closer in his native Korea for nine seasons with the Samsung Lions, before crossing over to the NPB for another two with the Hanshin Tigers, posting an impressive 1.81 ERA and 10.7 K/9 over 11 professional seasons in Asia. He then came over to the big leagues with the St Louis Cardinals, debuting with an excellent 2016 season before a very meh 2017 season. Which then leads him here with the Toronto Blue Jays on a bargain deal, keeping his streak of playing for baseball clubs named after fearsome animals alive.

His history of emotionless domination on the mound closing out baseball games also earned him some all-time top notch nicknames, including “Final Boss” in Korea and “Stone Buddha” in Japan. I can’t wait for all the terrible headline puns to come as well. So there’s a lot to like about him.

He is also a 35 year-old pitcher who is coming off his worst professional season. He actually had a deal with the Texas Rangers lined up in early February for $2.75 million guaranteed, until a failed physical nixed the deal. Reportedly the Rangers didn’t like what they saw in an MRI of his arm. Oh, who has already had Tommy John surgery in 2001 while in college, and lost the majority of two seasons in the KBO shoulder and elbow injuries, is certainly no spring chicken.

Oh had a great MLB debut in 2016, eventually winning the closer job for a pretty good 86-win Cardinals team. He put up a 1.92 ERA while striking out 103 over 79.2 innings, good for almost 3 wins (2.6 fWAR and 2.8 bWAR) out of the bullpen. But then 2017 happened, and he stunk. His ERA ballooned up to 4.10, he allowed a ton more fly balls (GB% dropped from 40% to 28.7% and HR/9 tripled from 0.56 to 1.52), he stopped striking guys out (K/9 dropped from 11.64 to 8.19, swinging strike % from 18% to 12.9%) , and he was removed as a closer to become just one of many mediocre low leverage mini-bosses in the Cardinal bullpen.

But keeping in line with the rest of the Jays’ moves this offseason to raise the floor of the roster with small, cheap moves with upside (and to collect St Louis castoffs), there’s some optimism with this signing as well.

Between 2016 and 2017, his pitch velocities and walk numbers remained the same (BB% 5.8% to 5.7%). So there’s no obvious signs of aging in that area at least. And he actually allowed more soft contact (15.3% to 22.4%) and less hard contact (34.2% to 28.1%)…even though his BABIP went up 50 points (.270 to .319) so there’s some weirdness to his 2017 season. FanGraphs has a great article that I stole most of this from, about how Oh inadvertently changed his mechanics, causing a lower release point that prevented him from getting on top of his pitches, thus reducing the movement of his splitter and slider.

And indeed, when we look at these two frames of Oh’s release point on two random pitches from the 2016 and 2017 season…

…you can clearly see no discernible difference, because we are not professional baseball scouts and I don’t really know what I’m talking about. I actually may have even mixed up which one was from which year, I have no idea. Honestly…these might even be from the same year, who fucking knows.

But for $2 million and change, it’s a nice, low risk move to shore up some depth for what might be a surprisingly good Blue Jays bullpen. And there’s a non-zero chance this might turn out to be a pretty good move if Oh regains some of his 2016 form. Or he completely falls apart because maybe two decades of contorting his arm due to inhuman rotational speeds have just caught up to his 35 year-old tragically human body. Which is basically something you can say about almost any signing, so you have to wonder…why did I even bother saying it?

This isn’t even my final form!

It Is Fucking Cold Outside

As I stood in the record setting cold this morning waiting for public transportation, I struggled in a way that I’m sure many other of us in this city, on this cold morning struggled as well. As I kept my hands exposed to play games on my phone, they got colder and colder. And eventually I had to make that Sophian choice between boredom or frostbite. I chose boredom, electing to preserve the functionality of my hands and opposable thumbs for future mobile gaming opportunities.

I pray I made the right choice.

– Someone inserted Will Smith into the grand Star Wars mythos in this delightful Independence Day: A Star Wars Story mashup, and I am eternally grateful. I’ll never know why the universe took two decades to put this in front of me, but it doesn’t matter. I have realized my destiny.

– Much has been said here already about the merits The Big Bang Theory, so I don’t really want to ramble on again about how funny or unfunny the show is, I’m just here to make one last point about it. We’ve all pointed to these awkward scenes with the laugh track removed as “evidence” of how unfunny the show is, never mind the fact that removing a keep component of a comedy show’s format causing it’s pace and timing to be disrupted and make it feel kind of weird is not something that is necessarily unique to this show in particular. The laugh track serves the format of a multiple camera sitcom. I mean yes, the actual lines they’re ending on to elicit the audience laughter less punchlines and more…just general statements, but would Seinfeld still be funny without a laugh track? …actually yes, but okay, fine whatever. Anyway, my point is…replacing The Big Bang Theory‘s audience laugh track (or the legitimate sounds of oddly enthusiastic laughter arising from being “filmed in front of a live studio audience”) with the prerecorded sound of Ricky Gervais laughing raises it to a totally new height, transcending the sum of its parts. I would watch 18 to 22 minutes of this every week if it was available. I mean…some of it becomes like laughing at “him” because you’re wondering what he’s picking up on that’s so funny…and then the whole thing becomes even funnier. Layers upon delicious layers.

– Here’s an interesting article in which some dudes (researches, scientists, programmers?) are using deep learning and Google Street View to estimate the demographic makeup of neighborhoods across the United States. Pretty nifty correlations are seen when using 50 million images of Google Street View to identify objective visual details across neighbourhoods in 200 American cities. Cars in particularly seem to be the most useful to look at since “over 90% of American households own a motor vehicle, and their choice of automobile is influenced by disparate demographic factors including household needs, personal preferences, and economic wherewithal”…so you can tell a lot from a neighbourhood’s choice of car. As opposed to say…shrubbery or landscaping, spaces between houses, lot sizes, house exteriors, or blurry images of people on the street. So plug all the images into a machine learning algorithm, teach it how to identify makes and models of cars, reference it census and election voting data, and boom goes the dynamite. It’s a neat read, so you should go through it yourself, but some interesting details…

  • The strongest indicator that a neighbourhood was primarily Asian was the presence of Toyotas. Secondary indicators include…minivans, Hondas, and cars made in 1990-1994. Using all factors together their model was able to identify demographic attribute of “Asian” pretty accurately (r=0.87).
  • Strongest indicators for white neighbourhoods were Aston Martins, Volkswagens, minivans, Jeeps, and extended cabs. Was a bit harder to nail down the whites, as there’s some more scattering here, but still not bad (r=0.77).
  • They get better at predicting black neighbourhoods (r=0.81) which have top indicators of cars made in 2010-2014, sedans, and Chryslers, Buicks, and Oldsmobiles.
  • The indicators are actually better at predicting Asians (r=0.87) than at predicting median household income (r=0.82). The latter of which I would have thought would be easier to find based on just presumably a pretty strong correlation with the price of the car…but I guess Asians driving Toyotas are more likely than rich people having expensive cars.
  • Cities that have more pickup trucks than sedans were more likely to vote Republican (88% chance). On the flip side, cities that have more sedans than pickup trucks were more likely to vote Democrat (82% chance). It’s that simple, we’re all just numbers in the end.

I know we had stereotypes in our heads already, but now they can be collaborated against objective statistics! And this is all just based on studying 500 million pictures of questionable quality from Google Street View, which included 22 million identified vehicles, representing 32% of vehicles within these 200 cities, or just 8% of total vehicles in the United States. As self-driving cars that use cameras to navigate start to populate the roads – “Tesla vehicles currently take as many images as were studied here every single day” – there’s going to be a considerably larger sample size to study. So if a half dozen guys from Stanford University can put this together with what amounts to just a virtual stroll around American neighbourhoods, you gotta wonder what the genius tech giants out there have already figured out based on much deeper cuts of our lives available to them.

I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves! Begone, vile man! Begone from me! A starter car? This car is a finisher car! A transporter of gods! The golden god! I am untethered, and my rage knows no bounds!

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

It is upon us!

Oops, this was actually for Friday, so I have backdated this post and just hoped no one would notice.

While we’re here, let’s all enjoy the classic Simpsons steamed hams scene which has also somehow simultaneously become a Guitar Hero song.

Snow dad’s better than no dad!

The Greatest Of All Time (1977-2017)

Oof. Man…I wasn’t ready for this. But who was?

I had expected to get a chance to celebrate when he would visit the SkyDome again and have his named added to the Level of Excellence as the greatest Blue Jay of all time. And then I had expected to get a chance to celebrate when he was voted into the Hall of Fame, becoming only the second player to be inducted as a Toronto Blue Jay. And then again when they would announce #32 would be retired, just like Alomar’s #12 when he was inducted.

But now he won’t be there when those things happen, we won’t be able to see him smile and wave to the crowd and drink up the loud, deafening, concrete-reverberated cheers of 50,000 people packed into that stadium to watch him do it. And that’s a tough thing that a lot of people, like me, are going to have to come to terms with this week.

I was watching the Dodgers two weeks ago in the World Series, and thinking about how they had such a grand, enjoyable history. In Game 1 at home they brought out Jackie Robinson’s family to throw out the first pitch. In Game 2 they had Vin Scully, Steve Yeagar, and Fernando Valenzuela. In Game 6 they had Orel Hershiser and Tommy Lasorda. In Game 7, Dodgers pitching legends Sandy Koufax and Don Newcombe. That’s a lot of Hall of Famers. And I kept thinking about how if the Jays ever made the World Series, we would eventually finally have our own Hall of Famer pitcher to bring onto the field in order to mooch off his mojo.

I typed up some words about Roy Halladay years ago when he retired, but I don’t really think it’s appropriate now to talk about his statistical accomplishments as a baseball player. The biggest single thing I remember about Doc was that he was always there. And he was always there. As long as his name was penciled in on the roster, there was some glimmer of hope for the season. For an absurd amount of innings every year, for a straight decade. He was there every four days, either extending a streak or busting a slump. And he was there on the mound for Opening Day to celebrate a new, fresh baseball season every year. For all those times we caught a game with those Star Passes after school and had the fortune to catch a brief, vintage two-hour long pitching clinic. He was a very bright spot on a team that didn’t collectively didn’t accomplish much during that time, which means he should be treasured even more. He was an unstoppable, emotionless, feared baseball playing robot.

And in retirement, turned out to be as much of a goofball as he was a terminator during his playing days.

And now…he’s not here any more. I’m not good enough of a writer to properly articulate this loss for this city and its fans. I’m not sure if anyone is really, although there have been a lot of nice articles these last two days written about him.

It was a sad day yesterday. And it’s a sad day today, and it’ll be sad for a bunch of days to come still.

It is impossible to express what he has meant to this franchise, the city and its fans.

About

Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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