(A Random Post)

So okay, about the updating…yeah, my bad. No real excuse for the 18 day black-out, and the thing is…I can’t really promise it won’t happen again. I don’t even know if people other than us three visit this sucker anymore. …not that page hits or visitors were really something I cared about at all – we have no purpose, we have no mission, we have no reason to do this. Stuff just happens, and amazingly this page keeps (or kept) updating itself on a semi-daily basis. Chalk it up to whatever you want – laziness, school, lack of interest, the communists – but I’ll be stopping for a little bit with updating. If something really mind-blowingly cool – or Ahnuld related – falls into my lap, I’ll put it up, but otherwise don’t expect almost-daily updating. …but then again, I don’t think anyone really expects almost-daily updates from us anyway, so it’s all good. Now what have I been up to…?

So I’m having a regular day – I got my CBR, some Sinfest, my usual dose of weird Malaysian fetish porn, whatever – and I stumble upon this Pokemon Rocks! contest off a link for “digimon sex toon”. (Ha ha! I kidd. …er…yeah.) And you’ll have to excuse me, because I feel obligated to rant about this one. Point of interest: the winner of the contest, Matt from Cali state, who looks at least 20 years of age. I watch his entry, and my soul is chilled – and I mean like pre-light saber effects Star Wars kid chilled. Sure, sure – he won some more Pokemon games, two Game Boys, and a car…but look what he traded away. His dignity, his chance at a normal life in society, and his soul! Literally two seconds into the clip – my gut says it was shot in his living room while his parents were out – and you can tell there’s something supernaturally wrong with the whole setup.

And really, what did he win? Some more Pokemon games. Does this man strike you as a person who doesn’t already own these games? Two Game Boys and a link cable. Why does he need two? I doubt he’s got a friend to use that link cable with. And a new car. A PT Cruiser unfortunately. And decked out with Pokemon details all over. I guarantee you – if he’s from California – if he leaves that car alone for more than two minutes, it’s getting keyed. And if he’s seen in the car…even worse. And come on – seriously, does he look like he knows how to drive?

…I apologize. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. On behalf of THE WAMBAG, I would like to send “Matt” from California our congratulations. For stirring within me so much hate that I don’t know what to do with it. And the side-burns. And the SIDE-BURNS!!! The real kicker is when you realize that someone had to have helped him by filming the whole thing. So there were two of them.

Now hypothetically, say we wanted to put together a rap song. Hypothetically. Aside from a healthy knowledge of flippin’ out knives cool-style and generous amounts of Pimp Juice, you would need a really cool name. Hypothetically, “the Notorious MSG” would be pretty high up on my list. But apparently, I’m a step behind. Three and a half mp3’s up there, some better than others. Highlights include lyrics such as “Try to catch me if you can / I kill ten people with a flying pan!” (Straight Out Of Canton) or “I got / my ho in the limo / ready to go / I got more muscle than-a Lou Ferrigno” (FOB For Life). I love it.

What else I got? Uh…

The Duel – Standard nonsense flash bit with banjo action and the Dukes of Hazard.

English Angora Rabbits – …no words seem to come to mind.

Bush drops his dog. – While the look on that girl’s face (on the left) is gold, this link is really only funny because of the standard internet perversion that followed up immediately. Volia! Though I personally think it would be better with “PWN3D.” I think it’s safe to say the ‘P’ is standard issue now.

B.B.Hood vs Kurt Angle – It even has music from MvC2. But be careful, because Kurt Angle will go Super Saiyan on your ass in the third round.

CANT BLAME IT ON LAG – You just can’t.

Right. I’d leave now, but I actually wanted to post a couple more things, so I’ll do it tomorrow. But after that, you can’t have-a the Mango!

Reply

About

Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

Search

Subscribe

Atom, RSS 1.0, RSS 2.0 - no idea what the difference is.

Tagboard (!?!)

Apparently PHP7 doesn't support the same function calls I wrote in 2008? I should fix this at some point.

Recent Posts

Archives