(A Random Post)

The Big Hit #5

Well I’ve had the entire week at home so I don’t have any exciting stories of my sexual escapades from school. But don’t fret, I do have exciting tales of me spending the last 4 days playing Madden NFL 2004 every night till the break of dawn! Let me tell you now, if being a QB in a videogame is so hard… oh man it must be tough in IRL. The game has driven me to the brink of insanity. From all the sacks, interceptions, fumbles, and drops I’ve had, I’ve realized that not all sports games are easy (unlike a familiar basketball game I’ve completely broken). Do I appreciate the difficulty of the game? Sure. Trust me when I tell you though, it definitely wouldn’t look like it to anybody watching me play. I’ve screamed and cursed at my computer at the top of my lungs, shouting all sorts of obscenities that I think even exist, i.e.

a) “You fu*$king POXLIX!”

b) “Damn it you cheating SON OF A ZITFAC!”

c) “Oh comon! WACKRAM FUSCHIA!”

I will defeat you yet Madden, I will. No machine will ever defeat me, EVER.

On another note, since I’m on the topic of sports let me tell you about my ESPN Basketball incident yesterday. See, I had reserved the XBOX VERSION of the game on Wednesday, and the man who was working there (‘there’ being Electronics Boutique) assured me that they would have the XBOX VERSION of the game in on Thursday (pay attention to the bolded XBOX VERSION part). So the next day I go back to pick it up, but it turns out the XBOX version won’t come out till tuesday. The man tells me that only the PS2 version came out that day, and the XBOX version had problems with the ‘port’ or something. So I was like “Son of a vondruke, you are a filthy liar.”. Then I slapped him, pretty hard in the face and then I pulled him over the counter and assaulted him with my girlie arms. I feel crummy about it, but you know what? He was a straight shooter, and I can’t fault him for that. He was only doing his job. So I left the store after my outburst of anger (most likely my pent up rage from playing Madden) and swore I would never, E-E-E-EEEEVER, pre-order a game from EB again.

Now that I’ve vented, here come a barrage of links:

1) Drink-o-meter. Have fun Brian.

2) PixelHugger. The game has a ‘Gameboy’ feel to it. Control some little dude, and pick up letters and stuff. It’s SO hard.

3) SEGA Commercials. Now THIS is sweet, it has a whole bunch of old-school SEGA commericals to download. Problem is, I think the site has almost reached it’s bandwidth limit, so you may have to wait till next month inorder to see them. It’s worth the wait though, trust me. “SEGA!”

4) More FLASH fun. Another collection of flash games. Some are remakes, but it’s VERY well done. Try Hexxagon. Again, it’s very hard.

5) 512kb.net. Japanese flash vids. Check out ‘512kb flash mix’. That is the most insane flash video I’ve ever seen. Epileptics beware.

6) Classic.. This is a “throwback” flash video. I discovered this one a while back while I was still in highschool (grade 10 I think). I wish I could find the “sloshed beer” flash.

7) The Conversatron. It’s a conversation between a bunch of internet ppl, on completely useless topics. (Ctrl F, and type in ‘lobster’. Heh) Go to the main page and check out the rest of it though, this shit rocks.

I’m out. “This next song I wrote after I killed a drifter to get an erection.”

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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