The Ice Queen Cometh

(soundtrack)

Cold As Ice – M.O.P.

Spent the whole day with Tanya. Yeah, I know, I know…What can I say? I’m a glutton for punishment. Here’s how it went down:

So I’m maxin’ and chillaxin’ with my boy Julius, my girl Michelle, and 3 or 4 other D.P.O.T.s who I didn’t really know. Ju and Michelle brought instant noodles to the cafeteria and made them right there. Julius was trying to boil a bowl of water in a microwave, which predictably failed. It was funny because there were people waiting to use the microwave and all they saw inside was a bowl of water spinning around. I swear they were waiting for him to show up so they could whup his ass.

Anyway, eventually Michelle’s friend Julie came by and she mentioned that she was going shopping later. No interest. Then she mentioned that she was going with Tanya.

And I stopped for a minute.

Obviously, I’m still attracted to this girl despite my previous lame attempts at romance. Hey, it’s not her fault that I’m a total douche. Sure, she’s as cold as the other side of the pillow, but what girl isn’t these days? Besides, I’d been seeing her a lot more lately and I decided I needed to keep the momentum going and what better way to do that than to show how attentive and cultured I am by going shopping? It was a brilliant plan on my part.

It was also a BORING plan on my part. Don’t get me wrong, I love playing the role of the suffering, attentive man-servant. But not when the girls I’m with aren’t asking for my opinion on anything and clearly have no intention of buying anything. We must have visited, like, 10 to 15 stores and Tanya did not look at a single thing for more than a minute! I do not exaggerate. I still had a good time, of course. At the very least, it gave me a chance to learn more about her (A LOT more, this girl loves to talk about herself) and work on our witty banter. We’ve fortunately/unfortunately moved into that “friends who always insult the crap out of each other” phase. It’s nice in that I am now absolutely comfortable with it because I can fill the silences with my barbs, but on the other hand, this phase rarely moves into the “maybe we should try going out?” phase. *sigh* I’m a sucker.

There was something different about today. I got the feeling that she wanted to hang out with me. That was new. Even in the past when I was crazy about her, I never felt that she enjoyed our time together. Today, she was telling me a lot of personal stuff and she even looked slightly hurt when I told her that I wouldn’t think of us as “close”. I know, that sounds harsh, but she was sort of suggesting that we were good friends, which I would love to believe, but I know better. So I had to give her the ol’ “let’s just be careful how affectionate we get with people we barely know” schpiel. That’s a good sign(?).

For the record, I’m back on the Ice Queen Express. As I’ve said before, paraphrasing the great George Costanza, this woman just dislikes me so much…it’s irresistible. Nah, I think we’re alright. I’ts kind of a “love-hate + hate some more” relationship, but at least I can say we have a relationship. I’m so easy.

Me: That was nice.

Her: Yeah, thanks for coming. I know it must have been hard for you when you heard that I was going.

Me: (laughs) I’m about to say something completely out of character.

Her: (wary) Er…like what?

Me: It’s nothing serious.

Her: Ok.

Me: I…uh…well, you know I was hanging out with Julius and Michelle and people and the Julie comes and, uh, she said she was going shopping. So I was just like, that’s nice. Then when she said you were going I was like, “Wellllll, you know maybe I could tag along.” I thought, Tanya’s going so I mean, really, I’ve got to go.

Her: Oh, thanks. I appreciate that.

(pause)

Me: Yeah, well…my self esteem was getting a little too high lately.

Her: (laughs)

Me: I think I needed to be taken down a notch.

And…SCENE!