I would like to take this time to apologize for my actions of late.

Lee – I’m sorry for sneaking off and leaving you in the company of those two dirty chinks. And effectively forcing you to drive them home. I don’t even think you noticed me leaving.

Jess – I’m sorry for sneaking off and leaving you in the company of a white person with only AL to stand between you two. It’s terrifying, I know. I also know that I promised you a ride home…but obviously, I was lying. As usual.

AL – I’m sorry I left your Preacher trade at home. …well…actually, no, I’m not. So…no apology.

Mr. verypissedoff – I’m sorry we here at The WAMBAG could not meet your high expectations of entertaining website content. I swear upon my family’s name that you will be avenged, and Flaming Sheep will be disciplined for writing such an blatantly false article well over a year ago. Furthermore, each article from now on will be so excellent that it will cause your laughter glands to overwork themselves and swell up such that you will require life saving emergency surgery to amputate the organs and leave you unable to laugh ever again except through the assistance of prosthetic laugh machines connected to your body intravenously that continuously hum like this – “HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”.

Jessica Alba – I’m sorry you discovered me lurking outside the window of your bedroom. I hope the chloroform has worn off!