Love And Theft

Gimme The Loot – Notorious B.I.G.

Can’t concentrate in Major British Writers class. My teacher is babbling about the history of Pride and Prejudice. It’s so boring compared to last class where he did a reading of this other book, which involved him speaking as not one, but two female characters with his deep, booming voice. He brought the house down. My mind is in a hundred other places.

* This morning I stole a poster from a subway train. It’s that one for “Beautiful Brunette” hair colouring with the hot babe on it. You know the one. If you’ve seen these ads, you know that they’re encased in metal frames. I’d been trying to nab this ad in particular ever since Julius told me how much he loved the model in it. I thought it would make a nice housewarming gift (he moved into residence recently). I’d considered cutting it out or unscrewing the frame. Today, I saw a copy of the ad in a frame that was missing one side. I had to wait for a few people to get out of the way (had to miss my stop), but eventually I got to it and slid it right out. Mission accomplished. He loved it too. After I gave it to him, we shared an EXTREMELY awkward man-hug. Horrible.

* Did anyone catch Jamie Foxx’s acceptance speech at the Golden Globes? At first, he was his usual, cocky Jamie Foxx self. By the end, he was trying to talk about his dead grandmother and he couldn’t get the words out. You could actually see a single tear fall. Gripping television.

* A couple of Conan related links. First, check out his latest batch of actual items. I especially like the blood test one. You’ll see. Also, check out this group that decided to base a whole rap song on Conan’s “I’m Gonna Go To Hell When I Die” bit. They’re called The Booty Boys. It’s good stuff. Apparently they have another song about him in which they call him “Coneezy O’Breezy”. That’s…that’s fucking awesome.

* I am having a lot of trouble sleeping. (And I was in class when I wrote this!)

* I’m working on an iPod fund for Tanya’s birthday. I reckon that 28 people paying about $15 each should do it. Yeah, this probably isn’t going to happen.

* So there’s this new girl. Her name is Leanna. I had, like, two classes with her last semester. Don’t recall talking to her once. This semester, we have three classes. In this new one, The Short Story, she came up to me and said, “Aren’t you in my Major Brit tutorial?” and sat next to me. We’ve been playing “getting to know you” ever since. Nothing to get too excited about. Might be the last time I mention it.

* At work, I get bills with writing on them all the time. Recently, I got a $10 bill that said, “may you always have enough”.

Let’s end with that one.

PQ: (damn, I’m going through these things fast these days)

Man of God, man of God…do you know what you face? I am the Allfather. This is the Grail. The blood of the lamb is ours to guard. To shape the world to receive that blood, to build an apocalypse of our design, we have done and will do anything. The earth continues turning at our whim. At the end of every day, every leader of every nation makes a telephone call. They dial a number I have given them. And when I answer, they simply say–“Thank you.” But you…you began by insulting me, man of God. You demanded, and threatened, and sneered…

I’m American, fat boy. What’s your excuse?