Some horrible, terrifying links for you today.

– 100 year-old, 23 pound lobster caught in Atlantic Ocean. I have no idea how he ended up in Pittsburg though. I, for one, welcome our new giant, immortal crustacean overlords. For he is truly the destroyer of worlds.

EDIT: – Okay, nevermind. He’s dead.

– Miss McDonald. Quite possibly the most terrifying website I have ever had the misfortune of visiting.

– A 17 year-old girl is injuried in a bizarre sexual accident. Again from Pittsburgh. Huh. The best part is trying to imagine exactly how it went down. I have to admit that my imagination is just not good enough.

– Another bizarre sexual injury. This one doesn’t need quite as much imagination as the other. And is that a hair in the picture? GODDAMMIT MAN WHAT THE FUCK?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to make a trip to Home Depot. That is, after I pick up some frozen hot dogs, bananas, and watermelons. Oh, and anyone know where I can get a gun? I might have to…uh…shoot…something.

And don’t bother calling tonight, I’m gonna be busy.

its a man: it dow look like a bear