(A Random Post)

No One Here Wants To Fight Me Like You Do

Try – Michael Penn

Don’t worry William, this doesn’t count as a fourth post in a row due to it being completely insubstantial.

Annia has only been gone for two days and I miss her already. Feels like a week has passed already. Or two weeks! What an unusual feeling this is. I wonder if there is a direct corrolation between her being gone and my feeling incredibly lonely these last few days.

*****

Work was horrible, yet strangely satisfying today. I had to do the work of two men, due to the fact that my boss is cutting costs by reducing hours. He must have figured, “Hey, why should I pay someone to retrieve the shopping carts, transport the water jugs and take out the garbages when I can have Alex do it in addition to having him keep an eye on the store and count all my money? He’s a human punching bag anyway!” So that’s what I did today. Thank God my manager Rajdeep was in today. Her and I have an odd relationship. Early on, I was deathly afraid of her. I don’t know why. She has a good manager voice. Like, when I made a mistake, she would admonish me with a tone that would incite within me that perfect mixture of fear and shame. Wonderful. However, I inevitably got to know her better and I realised that she has a work persona, just like the rest of us. I still respect her and take her seriously, but I can also work with her as opposed to under her. It works better for both of us now that I’ve grown a pair.

Rajdeep took care of things while I was outside chasing buggies. Hells a’ poppin’ it was hot today, eh? I love the heat, but even this was a bit much. Is it wrong that I’m only now starting to fear global warming? Still, the fact that I was a man alone out there in that sweltering heat dragging all that metal around did make me feel kind of cool. I tend to be a bit of a masochist; such that, even when Rajdeep suggested I ask some of the stock boys for help, I declined. They’d only get in my way.

The only bad thing was that I decided to finally tell her that I would be leaving in a few months. I was half hoping that she would shrug it off and say, “No big deal.” But she had to say how much she appreciated my hard work and how I always came in to take people’s shifts. Again, fear and shame. Damn her.

Speaking of taking people’s shifts, it turns out that I took a shift for Adriana this weekend without even realising it. Rajdeep called me the other day and asked if I could come in on Saturday and I figured, “Hey, man’s gotta eat,” so I agreed to do it. I checked the schedule and I was thinking, “Alright, at least I get to work with Adriana!” Then I found out it was her shift I was taking. Shizer!

I messaged her on MSN to cuss her out. I wanted to yell at her over the phone, but she had an essay to do. So I forced her to let me edit it instead, bwahahahahaha! I am a sad, sad man. I chopped that sucker to bits and sent it back to her (all this over the course of the last four hours by the way). She apologised profusely for my having to take her shift and for keeping me up, but as you might expect, staying up with Adriana and helping her with her assignment was quite a thrill for me. It’s possible I might even get a lunch out of this. I can’t stop guys, I can’t.

*****

I hope Brian Chow realises how good he’s got it right now.

*****

I gave Arlene a call during one of my breaks today. She wasn’t there, so I left a voice mail reeking of desperation. Later that night, I got her reply. She “Sunday’d” me. She said that she was a slave to her job and if we met up, it would have to be on a weekend, like Sunday. In other words, like never. Sunday’d, damn it.

*****

I want a girlfriend so badly right now, it’s killing me. And yes, I’m sure that exact sentiment can be found in any of my previous posts.

Hey Jerry, you ever wear silk underwear?
No.
Put that on the top of your list.
No, not for me. A little too delightful.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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