(A Random Post)

I have a early (like oneish, I think) softball game tomorrow that I am very much looking forward to, but I am having difficulty going to bed. I was rooting for Anderon Silva, and I’m glad he shut up all those white people who were booing him when he came in. Rich Frankling is a bitch – YES, HE IS A BITCH – and and when he got peaced the fuck out last year with the nastiest broken nose I have ever seen, I laughed. YES, I laughed. So when he got taken out again today, I laughed again. Did you see Silva try to go for the clinch again in round one, the same way he dominated him last time? He’s a smart fighter – but when’s Dan Henderson gonna get a shot at the title?

This is fantastic, and should go down in history as the first drunken blog post I have ever made in this lifetime. I say that because maybe I was like a fuckin’ Egyptian priest or some shit in my last liffe, and posted some magical blog post two thousand years prior, and that would have been awesome.

I think I was already tipsy when I came out of Shoeless Joe’s, and after I got dropped off, I don’t really know why I continued to drink while at home. This week’s 30 Rock was fantastic, maybe moreso because I am a little bit not all there.

I can’t stop giggling, guys. I can’t stop.

It is currently 1.54 AM, and I am a little bit under the influence, while sitting in front of my computer in my boxers questionining the meaning of life and lamenting at the horrible trainwreck my life resembles – and I am really rather enjoying this whole process. I’ll be honest, all I can think about right now is Lin, and how amazingly consistent my typing speed carries over even though I’ve already had like eight drinks tonight. I figure I’m still in the upper 70’s right now, but I’m hitting the backspace button like three times for every eight character keys I am pressing. I’m also really bummed out by the fact that Yao Ming is the only guy drafted with center eligibility, even though I have two center spots to fill. But Ballgrabber Evans and McDice should have it like two weeks in so I’m not too worried.

Wow, I am gone. I hope I don’t become an alcoholic after this. Wait, I need to use the washroom.

Okay, back. I want to fight a white guy.

Here is a very brief clip of Will Ferrell’s Delco SNL audition tape, followed by an entire bit on Comam (where is the ‘n’ key!?!) in (ah) character as Robert Goulet Conan’s utter helplessness is the funniest thing about it, I think, forced to just let it exist. That interview is how I feel right now. Will Ferrell is insane, and I hope that for the sake of the continued sanity of the world that he is slain in some Thunderdome execution that involves sabretooth tigers. Fuck that guy.

Also, here is a video regarding Judd Apatow joining Adam McKay and Will Ferrell on the Funny or Die crew – that sentence was surprisingly coherent because I copy and pasted it from an earlier Notepad file I had stashed away. He talks about porn and it is funny.

Also, here are the Asian characters that appeared in Mark Waid’s and Alex Ross’ Kingdom Come story along with the brief hilarious descriptions that accompanied them in the trade paperback, which I am referencing.

Buddha (sumo-sized scourge of China)
Tokyo Rose (Japanese martial arts assassin)
Kabuki Kommando (the Fourth World's Japanese champion)
Samurai (champion of Japan from the Batmen of many nations)
Dragon (champion of China from the Batmen of many nations)

Haha, so racist. Wikipedia page for Batmen of All Nations, good reading. Grant Morrison’s story through Batman $667, very good.

We are playing the “Dirty Batstards” tomorrow, who are $1 in the league at 4-0. This is a statement game, and I am really excited about it, especially because AL isn’t here, because I absolutely hate that fucking guy, no homo. Whatever whatever. Statement game, gonna be awesome. If I don’t hit a triple tomorrow, I’m cutting off my penis and mailing it to Pre-Crisis Lindsey Lohan, I’m not even kidding. Beer is a diuretic, so does that mean my urine is more alkaline now? I’m having trouble remembering my chemistry knowledge…does that mean that I should use zinc or manganese whatyoucallsit to react with it to form a urine-based battery? All those lectures for naught, DAMN ME.

Lin is so funny, I love her. I just wish she wasn’t such a huge whore. I am on the floor now, I should probably get up and get into my bed and sleep.

BEST WAMBAG POST EVER.

Van Heeeeeeelsiiiiing!!!

What do we do now?

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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