(A Random Post)

Couple more movie trailers today, accompanied with some jackass comments about how good I think the movie looks (usually “awesome”) – which there is nothing else in the world that you would possibly care less about. Let’s get to it then!

First, a heads up from Max Snax of Ajax (who continues to refuse to post or directly associate himself with this site in any capacity…perhaps wisely) – the Semi-Pro trailer is finally out. Every Will Ferrell movie features a water thin plot just to string together a bunch of skits together, and this time the gig is that he’s an ABA player/coach/team owner. It’s the same movie over and over again, but just with different wardrobes. This trailer is pretty much exactly as you would expect…which means it is fantastically awesome. If nothing else, this movie’s going to spawn a whole batch of lines that we’ll have no choice but to recite every time we play basketball. And we’ll repeat them so many times that they’ll no longer hold any relevant meaning to us anymore, and it will become impossible to elicit any type of emotional response from hearing them. If we’re lucky.

Then The Machine Girl, proof that the Japanese just beat us at everything. Lots of Kill Bill type gore in that trailer, so maybe not a great idea to watch it along with your conservative Asian grandma or your six year old nephew. I’m pretty sure this is a comedy. …I think. It has to be, right?

Next, the (relatively) new I Am Legend trailer, which I think I actually really want to see now. Please Will Smith, just one “AWW HELL NAH”, just one, please. You don’t even really have to say it, just do the facial expression when the all the zombies/vampires/whatevers are rushing at you in the obligatory scene. On a related note, I was checking out the Wikipedia entry, and it turns out this movie was almost made in the late 90’s with Ridley Scott to direct and Arnold Schwarzenegger to star. How awesome would that have been, huh? Honestly. Just check out the other big names that were attached this property at one point or another. I’m not even sure I can watch this movie with an unbiased state of mind now…every scene I see I’m going to be thinking about how much better Ahnuld would have handled it instead. If weakling Will Smith has to run from the vampiric zombie monsters in a scene, I’m going to be thinking about how much more awesome this movie could have been if badass motherfucker and brilliant military scientist (he would probably have needed to channel some of his performance as a scientist from Junior, ie. wear glasses) John Matrix was there instead. Like if he ripped off a zombie’s head with his bare hands, and while holding up the zombie head Hamlet-style, recited to the now headless body – “Youah know wat dey say…two heads is bettah…than NONE.” Dammit, this movie hasn’t even come out and already it’s underachieving.

Anyway, not a trailer but in fact a scene from Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. If you’re anything like me, I’d advise you to just not watch it and go into the movie fresh…but I was tricked and deceived into watching this myself so now I must share it and spoil it all for the rest of you as well. Just great to see Tim Meadows get some serious burn on a contender instead of toiling away all those years on lottery teams.

And finally, not a movie trailer, but an ultra cheesy and lame commercial for American Gladiators. January 6th – SHIT BE POPPIN’.

Come on people, let’s get sweaty. Basketball sweaty.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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