I recently put together a list of environmental variables that we use in blah blah blah blah blah, and I returned it fairly promptly to the original requester, who is in our group but not on my day to day team. I don’t work directly with her every day, but we’ve been the same projects before countless times – I’ve been in the proverbial foxhole with her when deadlines don’t get met, and things don’t work, and people die, etc. So I expected some sort of minimal level of respect from her. I mean this whole thing is addition to my current heavy workload, and essentially done as a favour for her, so show some appreciation, okay? But before she even reviews it, she phones me over to her desk and asks me how “accurate” it is.

…

What did you say to me? Who are you tryin’ to get crazy with, ese? Don’t you know I’m loco?

How accurate it is? Well why don’t you open it up and determine for yourself that it is COMPLETELY 100% FULLY FUCKING ACCURATE before you call me over here?

You have clearly mistaken me for someone that goes around building documentation of completely fabricated bullshit just for my own amusement – I know there’s people here that do that, but I am not one of them. IS IT ACCURATE!?! Of fucking course it’s accurate, what do you think, I just took a dump in the palm of my hand and smeared it across the top of your desk? WOMAN IT IS IN A FULLY FURNISHED EXCEL DOCUMENT DRESSED FOR SUCCESS IN SIZE 10 VERDANA

How dare you insult me, I am Choking Fucking Yak. MY shit is together. My shit is PACKED together, it cannot GET any more together, MY shit has the density of a motherfucking white dwarf star at all times. What about YOUR shit? How about you get YOUR loosey goosey shit together before we get to discussing my shit, huh?

WHAT THE FUCK

From now on, all of my emails will have the friendly little “Thanks!” default signature at the bottom DELETED before being sent to you.

To say that you deserve it now would be…inaccurate.

– Somewhat late, but whatever. Happy birthday to Sam Raimi from James Franco and Bill Hader as Willem Dafoe in a mirror.

– So far I think two episodes of Louie have aired (or are at least available for illegal download). Essentially they are just stand-up clips sandwiched between various awkward skits of varying hilarity. I’m hoping it finds its pace as it goes on, but for now even just the stand-up parts are good enough. Also, here’s his bit on George Lopez’s (LOL) show.

– This ridiculous story about a psychic German octopus picking Spain to win today is actually pretty amusing, but oddly enough I’m already tired of his played out octopine ass, and the story is only two days old. I think this whole World Cup thing is burning me out. It’s all I hear about on the way to work, at work, and from work. And when I want a distraction from it and look in on other sports, it’s just endless LeBron rumours and one run Jays losses. It’s a tough bracket. But to Paul’s (the octopus’ name, don’t you know) credit, “psychic octopus Paul unfazed by death threats” is probably the greatest headline I’ve seen this year, so good on him. (EDIT: Nevermind, we have a new winner.) Between the octopus and the revealed destination of this World Cup trophy made of cocaine, I think I’m ready to bet on Spain now.

– Usually I like to stay away from the current internet memes, so that you may have the joy of finding them yourselves…but sometimes one comes around that is just way too good to go unmentioned. Updating a previous topic initially mentioned in AL’s post…here is The Double Rainbow Connection (Remix).

– The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time. There is no way you will not be amused for the entire duration of the video. Also, I’m pretty sure Glengarry Glen Ross Alec Baldwin is the younger version of Jack Donaghy just like Swingers Vince Vaughn is the younger version of Wedding Crashers Vince Vaughn (or the Vince Vaughn in any movie he’s done in the last 10 years, really).

– Ah fuck it, I’m just going to repost that Glengarry Glen Ross scene again – if you’re anything like me you immediately went to Google it after seeing just a clip of it anyway. And I did that with the New Jack City scene too.

Sit yo five dollar ass down before I make change.