Two things that are perfectly fine on their own, but should definitely not be combined…

1) Putting a shirt with a big loud zipper in the laundry late at night on your own.
2) Watching the pilot for The Walking Dead.

I’ve read the first couple of trades so I already know everything that happens…and yet it still gets to me. Good show.

Let’s get a couple of links off my plate before they become internet relics by being out for a week or longer. We’ll do it quick, like just bam, bam, bam.

– Recent World Series champion Pablo Sandoval celebrating in style. Is there a better reason to want to be a professional baseball player? Enjoy it, you magnificent fat bastard. BAM!

– Don Draper Says “What?” Surprisingly even more entertaining than I thought it was going to be. BAM!

– Black man loves Pokemon, says what we are all thinking. BAM!

– In case you didn’t catch the debut of Conan tonight (including me) here is a new music video of Asian Conan. I firmly support whatever furthers the agenda of the Asian man. What is the agenda of the Asian man, you might ask? Love. BAM!

– DEFENESTRATION THE MOVIE: seven minutes and twenty three seconds of defenestration. It’s just as amazing as it sounds. Did you know that only like 2% of American suicides are from autodefenestration, but they make up over 50% of suicides in Hong Kong? Did you know “defenestration” had it’s own Wikipedia page? Well now you do. BAM!

And that’s it.

It’s like goddamn Cocktoberfest in here. I’m excited too, but let’s not touch dicks, alright. Ugh.