Looks Like The Captain’s Back

Holy shit, that was certainly some crazy news we all woke up to this morning right? Or for those of you more hip to the scene I guess it was last night, but wow, a long time coming. I’ve lost track of the years, but you can’t deny it – as a cornerstone of our generation, the expectations are going to be pretty high regardless of how many years have passed and all the lukewarm stops he’s had in-between. Regardless, I don’t know about you, but I’m excited.

Yes, that’s right, for those of you who haven’t heard yet, Omar Vizquel will break camp with the Blue Jays, winning the job over Mike McCoy and Luis Valbuena. As the only player with options remaining it was a longshot that McCoy was ever going to make the team, and Valbuena was not a bad Plan B for second base back before the Kelly Johnson arbitration situation was all settled. Obviously the team felt the intangible benefits of having Vizquel around outweighed the potential tangible benefits over Valbuena. Not that there even may have been any – most projections have both of them sitting at a wOBA of .280ish, and considering Vizquel’s ability as a 11 time Gold Glove winner to handle three infield positions…it makes sense. And let’s be honest – if this decision to bring Vizquel north with the team instead of Valbuena or McCoy actually has any sort of sizable impact on the team…we’re screwed anyway. It will mean very bad, very horrible things have happened to the 2012 Blue Jays season if Omar Vizquel gets anything near 200 at-bats.

Consider also the well publicized reasons of having him around as a mentor to the young Latin players like fellow shortstops Yunel Escobar and Adeiny Hechavarria…and depending on how much weight you give him for contributing to the successes of similarly “fiery” Latin shortstops in Alexei Ramirez and Elvis Andrus during his previous two seasons in Chicago and Texas, it could be pretty good to have him around. And if nothing else, we need that plucky light hitting, late inning defensive substitute wizard to replace the gaping hole in our hearts left from John MacDonald’s departure.

Plus, on a personal note…after 23 years in the league, it’s kind of neat to get to see Omar Vizquel play up close.

– Oh yeah, Anchorman 2? Man, whatever. Blah blah blah. For posterity’s sake, here’s the announcement on Conan. Let’s celebrate by revisiting the gag reel and remembering that this will actually be like the third Anchorman movie made, which still blows my mind to this day.

– Hey, here’s the trailer for Safety Not Guaranteed, an indie darling romantic comedy based on some insane writer’s idea for the backstory of a 2005 YTMND page (seriously). It stars Aubrey Plaza in what could be her inevitable turn as a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, some nerdy Indian guy who is not Aziz Ansari (!?!), one of the dudes from that Zooey Deschanel sitcom, and Pete from The League as a possibly insane time traveler. It’s like a computer makes these, and we love them because we’re mathematically inclined to do so. Indie-ness + internet + MPDG + token ethnicity + safe white guy from mainstream sitcom + crazy white guy from fringe indie comedy (ie. Danny McBride’s or Charlie Day’s movie careers) = all demographics covered.

– NASA is auctioning off technology patents, including one in particular that is described as Swarm Autonomic Agents with Self-Destruct Capability. Whose birthday is coming up next? I mean who knows what that actually does, but it sounds pretty neat. Also neat? The approximate 1,250 patents NASA developed in-house with American taxpayer money are now being monetized and sold to private companies and patent trolls…which will then develop and sell the products back to the American taxpayer. That is pretty hilariously evil.

Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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