Unable To Find Appropriate Game Configurations (317002)

Today we mark the birth anniversary of our first and our greatest, the incomparable Rabid Emu. He was the Chosen One, the one to bring balance to the force. And now look at him. Well, whatever. Today’s your birthday.

Let’s all pretend that I actually posted that up on Sunday, when it was his actual birthday, and not today, which is two days past his actual birthday. I really had typed that out in preparation for a post on Sunday, but unavoidable life events got in the way. Mainly forgetfulness and (when the forgetfulness passed) laziness. But regardless of the significance of May 13th, the focus should not be lost upon the truly important things, like what’s happening today, on May 15th.

My friends, we stand on the edge of history, witnessing the third coming of our cruel and terrible dark lord. How many hours of our lives have we poured into this franchise over the decades, how many slices of our souls have we given in worship? Gaming history’s greatest franchise takes its third step upon the world, and the land trembles beneath its terrible weight.

That’s right.

Battleship, the video game adaptation of the hit movie, comes out today. I know, I can’t believe we’re finally here.

After the 1993 NES port and the undated version available on the passenger seat screens of Turkish Airline flights, you knew that they couldn’t just leave it at that – there had to be a third game. And today, that promise is delivered.

I just wish I knew more about it. The first review on its metacritic page describes it as such…

Battleship for Wii is a poorly executed turn-based strategy game, that uses traditional controls instead of what the Nintendo console is capable.

Yes, a review that denounces the reader for even daring to think about forgetting all the technological capabilities of the Nintendo Wii console, in 2012. To play Battleship.

What’s that? Oh, you thought I was going to talk about Max Payne 3 instead? Oh, you’re so silly.

10: 22 a.m. PDT- We are in the process of performing an emergency maintenance for all Diablo III servers to resolve several issues that are currently impacting the game. This maintenance may cause some interruption in communication, ability to log in, use of in-game features, and disconnections. We anticipate all servers will be available for play in approximately 1 hour.

Thank you for your patience.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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