Mathology Pictures

Hey, did you know that as of yesterday, we are officially past a year into the second decade of The WAMBAG? That is something, isn’t it? What exactly I do not know…but it’s something. It was the 11th anniversary of the first post of this site yesterday, and it only makes sense now to remark on it after the fact.

11 years and 1,542 posts is a lot of data. Data about stuff. Have you ever wondered, say, about the post volume trend? Yes I know no one actually wonders about this stuff, but it is a rhetorical question so maybe just shut the fuck up for a second and let me awkwardly segue this into a transparent attempt to scrape the bottom of my ass-barrel for some content.

For instance, let us look at this graphical representation of monthly post volume over the last 11 (!!!) years that I wasted my company’s resources in creating this morning.

The first thing that jumps out to me is how crazy it was that we touched like 30+ posts a month so frequently over the first two years. I mean…did we really average over a post a day over some months back then? Those are crazy inflated numbers. I consider them like the steroid era of baseball – who knows what those numbers actually mean in context? We were all hopped up on something back then (likely naivety and the false sense that there would be attention paid to our Livejournal type rantings) so you can’t trust those numbers there, and that level of performance was clearly unsustainable.

So what are we finding? The number of posts per month is on the downtrend. I mean that’s just an indisputable fact, it’s right there in your face in glorious graphical form.

But does that mean bad news for you, dear reader? Absolutely not! In fact, I would argue that it’s a very positive and beneficial trend.

Let’s make the very easily proven (although not here, for purposes of time) assumption that the level of monthly quality throughout 11 years of The WAMBAG has been perfectly and mathematically uniform. And great. Each month, you consume 100% of the monthly quality provided by The WAMBAG in a number of monthly posts. Therefore, it would stand to reason that each month, by definition, the level of monthly quality is split evenly among the number of total posts per month. That means that every month, each post delivers some percent of the monthly quality per serving. And early on we were giving it to you slowly, in bite size form, peppering you with small bits of goodness until you were satisfied.

But now we’re no longer strangers and can dispense with these ourves d’oeuvres sized servings. We can skip the awkward chit chat and just get right down to business. And I would suggest, that after so many years, there is now a trust between us and that there now exists sufficient faith in your capacity to swallow the big loads of creamy quality dense goodness. Whereas to the untrained eye it may look as if the number of posts trending down is a bad thing…but to the trained and likely irritated eye that has been blasted with hugh globs of quality rich posts, it is obvious that we’re slowly increasing the portion of monthly quality you’re getting with every post.

But don’t take my word for it, have another graph! Here is now the breakdown of the percent of monthly quality that each individual post carries over the history of the site.

I mean, look at that! It’s going way up! You’ve even been treated to some disgustingly large concentrations of monthly quality bombs lately – 100% of the month’s quality contained within a single post! Yikes. Listen, that graph was going down, but this graph is going up, and it is a different colour than the other graph. I don’t know what else you need me to spell out for you here.

There’s a lot of science and math at work here behind the scenes that I don’t want to muddy the waters with, but basically what I’m trying to say is that The WAMBAG is in a great shape heading in our 12th year. If it were a publicly traded company (which it would never be, because we value the perks of being majority stakeholders too much), I would tell you to buy into this stock with your life, because all of our analysts on payroll are telling me this is an insanely obvious bear stock…and if there’s one thing we know about here at The WAMBAG, it’s definitely bears.

“I’m not gonna stand here and present some egghead scientific argument based on fact. I’m just a regular dude. I like to drink beer, you know? I love my family. Rock, flag, and eagle right Charlie?”
“He’s got a point.”

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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