The Internet Is For Porn And The Kansas City Royals

There is something delicious happening in the MLB All-Star fan voting, which has gone online only for the first time just this year. And so what happens when you leave yourself to the mercy of the internet is something you could have probably predicted. Out of nine possible starting spots, voters are on pace to elect seven Kansas City Royal players (the eighth was only very recently overtaken, but remains strongly in second place).

Here are where they currently rank among their qualified peers at each respective positions this year in the AL, by fWAR…

Second base – Omar Infante (pictured), 11 of 11
Third base – Mike Moustakas, 3 of 13
Shortstop – Alcides Escobar, 6 of 11
Designated Hitter – Kendrys Morales, 6 of 11
Catcher – Salvador Perez, 4 of 4
Outfielders – Lorenzo Cain, 2 of 29, and Alex Gordon, 5 of 29.

Pretty great, right!?!

The other two non-Royals spots belong to Mike Trout and Miguel Cabrera, because you know…you gotta throw the two last AL MVPs a bone right?

Maybe it’s the great Google Fiber connection. The league has already thrown out like 65 million votes, which just reminds me of Mickey Mouse taking an axe to the water bucket carrying broom in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

Also, it’s not uncommon for players to include performance clauses in their contracts, often quantified by winning awards or…making All-Star teams, which is another fun angle to all this. For the joy of naming all these players to a meaningless All-Star team (without the All-Star on field performances to match) the Royals could be paying out up to an additional $1.25 million in contract bonus clauses and maybe more in impacts to future arbitration cases with Cain and Moustakas. Tough beans for the league’s second smallest market team.

This internet shit is getting real!

Let me live that fantasy

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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