Jays’ Dickey Price Too High For Rangers

Inconclusive.

And from this angle I’m not even sure he ever left the bag at all. Certainly not clear enough to overturn the safe call made on the field, which is how the replay rule works. The point is…shut up already. This doesn’t tie into the whole silly “Toronto sports teams are cursed!” narrative – that was but one tiny pebble amid the other mountains of reasons the Blue Jays dropped the first two games against the Rangers. All you fickle bandwagon fans are stressing out so much it’s harshing my buzz. You guys didn’t even know about this team a month ago and now that you’ve gotten a contending team dumped in your lap, you’re going to criticize and scrutinize it endlessly?

Yo guys, fucking Blue Jays playoff games! We are watching Blue Jays playoff games! That is an incredible thing isn’t it? For the first time in 22 years. I’m not even sure the goddamn internet was really around at that time. An entire online culture has risen since the last Blue Jays playoff game, while the ruins of postseason baseball lay dormant in this city, and now we’ve really jumped back headfirst into it. Hash tags, online videos, Roberto Osuanas? Those didn’t even exist back then!

But what else really needs to be said that isn’t already universally known? Or at least, should be universally known? That the playoffs are awesome, this team is awesome, and we haven’t gotten to be a part of something this awesome in a long time.

I just want to enjoy this ride for what it is, a wonderful gushing climax of joy after two decades of baseball blue balls. And while I am totally supportive of the bandwagon rights of everyone anywhere to cheer for whatever they want to cheer for whenever they want, and wholly impressed and thankful for the heights of instant popularity that this city’s sports fans are able to elevate winning teams to – the relatively fickle ups and downs they’re going through are stressing me out. So I think I need to stop talking about baseball at work, stop listening to call-in radio shows, stop reading all these internet comments. I mean I have no problem with other people celebrating and being passionate about something more than I am, but I just don’t want you to get in the way of my enjoyment.

The amount of conversations I’ve had at work already with everyone second guessing every irrelevant decision John Gibbons has made, like every one of you are baseball experts after going two years without ever mentioning baseball to me once, sticking your suffering in my face after Toronto was down 0-2. Shut the fuck up, this is not suffering. This is a delight, getting to watching your home team finally play some meaningful postseason baseball games. Suffering is watching a team prepare to field John MacDonald and Royce Clayton at shortstop for an entire season and still trying to convince yourself “Hey, they still have a chance!”

But just because I’m happy to be here, it’s not like I’m not deeply invested in further success of this team. You knew the Blue Jays were still in it. You saw signs of this offense busting out in the first two games – a few loud warning track outs from Encarnacion and Tulowitzki, a monstrous shot pulled just foul from Donaldson. It was maybe going to be a bad idea to go with lefties Martin Perez (allowed .300/.352/.425 against righties) and Derek Holland (.258/.337/.511) against the Blue Jays who destroyed sinister pitchers this year (league best 124 wRC+ against lefties)…turns out, yeah, bad idea. And ace or not, they’re going to do it again with another lefty in Cole Hamels on Wednesday.

So Blue Jays fans, you gotta like those odds, playing at home in a do or die game with Stroman on the mound. Even if they have Yovani “Jays Killer” Gallardo available to go, that won’t matter – he barely escaped in Game 1 after getting just three swinging strikes all game. They don’t want to give the Jays a fourth crack at him.

Does it matter though? We’re finally here. Every little additional bit we get from here on is gravy. Good or bad, remember it, savour it. I don’t know if it’s going to be another 22 year wait until the next taste, but the point is…enjoy it regardless, we should know better now than to take it for granted. To the new guys, have fun, enjoy the ride, welcome aboard. But to the rest of us, like this fucking guy (why did you have to be Asian?) – we’re finally here. And you’re the guys who will know what it means when I say that I’m so happy we finally have an opportunity to have our hearts broken by playoff baseball.

And happier still that there’s a good chance this ride isn’t over yet.

On Oct. 8, when the first playoff game between the Jays and the Texas Rangers was starting, Au changed two small words on the page dedicated to the 2015 season, from saying the team “will open” the playoffs, to “is opening.” It might be seem trivial to some, but to Au, there’s nothing more important.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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