Christmas In May

Today we wish a magical birthday to our good friend and WAMBAG.COM co-founder (aka the co-defendant when authorities eventually discover this page), Rabid Emu.

Emu’s birthday is always a sobering time of reflection for me every year. As the first of us passes the quarter century mark, I can’t help but think…wow, we are getting too old for this shit. I mean, that’s it for him. He’s so old now he might as well just be dead, get it over with. And soon Sheep will follow. And soon after, so will I. And after that, I don’t really care, because by then I will already be dead. Consider this…Albert Einstein’s 26th year was also his annus mirabilis, when he published papers on the photoelectric effect, Brownian motion, special relativity, and the equivalence of matter and energy.

How many photoelectric effects have we discovered collectively? I’m pretty sure it’s less than five, no more than three. We gotta pick up the pace, Einstein is killing us!

In honour of Emu’s special day, I dedicate this next link to him – the 10 crappiest Magic: The Gathering cards to ever see print. Yes, I had numerous decks with four Ornithopters in them, none of which included Enduring Renewal sacrifice combos or anything…why do you ask?

Also, no I have never played Magic before in my life, why do you ask?

I don’t even know what that is. Where am I?

– Remember that nifty Pixels short film that was running all over the internet a while ago? Apparently Adam Sandler’s production house Happy Madison has purchased the rights to turn it into a feature film. We’re one step closer.

– So now apparently now Portal is free for download on Steam until May 24th. There is really no reason not to get this if you don’t already have a copy. Happy birthday, buddy!

– Also, here comes a new Mass Effect 2 DLC that probably will cost lots of money! Fuck my life.

– After an 11 year career, former Seattle Mariner Eric Byrnes has now retired and has joined a weekly slow-pitch softball league. Are you still paid your full salary if you retire? That sounds kind of crazy to me. Follow your dreams, kids! Of interesting note is the final score of his softball game they noted in that article…6-2. That sounds fishy as well. A high level slow-pitch league that plays with a fence should average at least a dozen or two dozen runs a game, easy. I wonder what bat he’s using…? That looks like a DeMarini, but it’s too blurred to really tell. Also, I found this line from the article interesting…

Byrnes is probably the best-compensated ballplayer in the league, considering he will be paid $11 million this season – although the Arizona Diamondbacks ($10.6 million) and Seattle Mariners ($400,000) will pay his salary, while the Dutch Goose will simply supply the burgers and beer.

Until a week and a half ago, Byrnes was a Seattle Mariner, so some might see this as a step down.

Only Mariners fans see it like that. OOOOOOHHHH…suck it, you sad 13-20 hippies!

– And finally, some wacky gay video from Japan.
EDIT: Apparently this got taken down very quickly, so instead this is the new trailer for Inception. (OR IS IT!?!)

I don’t need a birthday party because I buy myself all the presents I need. And because of my drinking, they’re often a surprise.

4 comments