(A Random Post)

Unbelievable. I stop posting for a couple of days to come back and see this ridiculous accusation about how I think Sonic’s better than Mario. Now come on – I know Mario, I’ve worked with Mario, and I’ve talked to Mario – and I said no such thing. The only thing I did say is that Sonic could best Mario in an ass kicking contest, and that my friends – is an undeniable fact. Despite all his weapons, Mario can still be killed from above. And both the electrical shield and the bubble shield give Sonic massive verticals. And it’s not Cyclops vs. Batman, it’s the Flash vs. Batman. And the Flash can kick anyone’s ass. That’s all I have to say. But Sonic Shuffle did indeed ruin my life.

And by the way – I am into that sort of thing. Do I love female hedgehogs more than the fine ladies of humanity?

However, I do feel I need to retract those statements I made against Nintendo’s advertising department. Or at least their American division. Because this is one FINE commercial. I have no idea what it’s selling, but those kids skipping around on the top of that subway Shinobi-style is too good. And if you’re interested, the song in the background is…called…uh…Hatsukoi…by…Kojima Mayumi? I don’t know. You can download it here.

And while you’re in the mood for watching thousands of crazy Japanese people, here’s another video! The first Apple retail store opens in Japan, and the line-up is just…stupid. It’s STUPID. I cannot think of any other word to describe it.

I did spend some time away from the computer as I studied for my Statistics and got back into playing Marvel vs. Capcom 2. Obviously one more than the other (guess). Still trying to figure out a team – and after five years of playing – I can say that I’m closer to this goal than I ever have been before! Now instead of Spider-Man + random + random, it’s Spider-Man + Guile + random. I am so far away from playing at a competitive level, but if I forgo all my school work in favour of quality time with Bessie…one day, I will convincingly beat one of those Chinese guys at Pacific Mall with my middle tier team. I’m also trying to figure out a way around Servbot’s ridiculous Lunch Rush super…but I don’t think it exists. But now that I’m here, I got some clickies for you.

First clickie is a sad bit of news – Willy’s dead. What can I say? Free Willy was classic. But I wish they had never made – and I had never watched – Free Willy 2 and Free Willy 3. I think I caught 2 on an airplane…but 3 was on CityTV once…so I have no excuse there. I don’t even remember what happened in those movies, only that there’s that sour taste in my mouth that comes with the knowledge that I did indeed spend time watching them. One day I will make Free Willy 4: Judgement Day, with cyborg killer whales. Why? I have absolutely no idea. But hey, did you know killer whales – or orcas – are actually dolphins? And that telling you that fact opens up the opportunity to tell a cheesy dolphin joke? No? Well too late!

Walking on the beach one day, a marine biologists comes across a huge crowd gathered around something. He pushes his way to the front and is amazed to find a dolphin. But instead of fins it had legs, and it was having difficulty swimming with them. Intrigued, he calls up his marine biologist buddies (or however the hell this joke goes), and they put the dolphin in captivity to study it. Eventually, the biologist starts feeling sorry for the dolphin, and proposes to his colleague to amputate the legs and release the dolphin back into the ocean. His colleague contemplates the idea for a moment and replies…“But wouldn’t that be defeeting the porpoise?”

OH SNAP!!! Jordan!

Anyway, I still can’t get over that punk kid with the Game Boy yesterday. I mean sure, I must have looked pretty damn scary with that Burger King crown on (“I’m the Burger King…”) but come on – when a complete stranger comes up to you in the cafe and goes “Yo, ‘sup man? What you got?”…you’re supposed to tell him! That kid was damn lucky he was in MDHS and not RHHS. Is that how people at Markham are? Like savages? I still can’t believe the stare he gave me. I’m getting old. Two years ago, I would have taken a drink, gotten my freak on, and broke him into a million pieces. You know what we used to do to people in Richmond? We’d throw burger toppings at ’em (why the hell would they give students free access to unlimited pickles, tomatoes, and onions?), run them down in the parking lot, castrate them with the plastic sporks they gave out in the cafeteria, and call kids “Mullet Boy.” That’s how shit went DOWN in the RHHS of HK – the Richmond Hill High School of HARD KNOCKS. Dammit, that kid ANGERED me.

…it’s also my dream to one day dance like that guy can in the video. God, so much talent. And while I’m at it, it’s also my dream to live in this house and drive in this car. Because it looks so much like a HALO warthog.

Oh right – and a jolly good day of birth to our friend and partner in crime. The best part was where I gave AL the finger with a fork. I am so damn WITTY. And I think I’m going to go around trying out Willy C as my new name.

And finally…just one last laugh. Come on! Why? Why’d you do it AL?



Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.



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