(A Random Post)

So I’m leaving, on a jet plane. Don’t really know when I’ll be back again. Oh babe…I hate to go.

Got an evening flight, so I still got most of Thursday to ass around before I have to take off. I’ll probably kill it off with some MvC2, to be honest. Oh right – and speaking of that, I’m leaving Bessie at home. In hindsight, it might have been better to leave her with one of you chumps before I left, but honestly speaking – I’m a jealous lover. If I can’t have fun with Bessie, then by God, no one else will.

Since updates are rather rare as is, I’d figure I’d take the time and get a real raw rant/rambling out here. I warn you though – I don’t really have a set topic list in mind, so I’m gonna wander a bit here.

First off, since I’m going to be out for a couple days, I whipped up a Choking Yak Emulator to stand in for myself. I was originally considering making a full scale scarecrow replica, complete with hat and rolled up sleeves…but ever since I watched Signs, I’ve been scared to death of corn fields and thus linked through that, scarecrows. So have fun with me.

Right. So my exam finished at 5:00 today…but I didn’t get home until after 7:00. And I was driving. I probably wouldn’t be home in time for New Year’s if I had taken the bus. Rough, ugly weather out there today. And thus speaking seriously for just a second – to all the newbie drivers out there – don’t be stupid. Give yourself lots o’ time and distance to brake. I was this close to being hit by a silly driver who must of thought he was invincible in his SUV. Remind me to tell that tale, if you want to hear it. But if it’s ever as bad as it was tonight, you’re probably better off not driving around.

Oh, and another thing – I NEED to get a copy of Transformers, and I need to go around forcing everyone I know to watch it. Because I got a rant coming on, but no one would understand the context. In fact, I think AL is the only other person I know for sure that’s watched this vintage classic of cinematographic history. And frankly, that disgusts me.

And you know what else disgusts me? Jalen Rose. What a punk. I’m don’t know that much about basketball, but it’s my God-given right as a fan to whine and bitch about him. Bad shot selections, bad shooting, turnovers, and he can’t keep his yapper shut. We almost beat the frickin’ SPURS, if not for his technical. Boo-urns!

This is a pretty cool picture, by the way. Line of the month has to go to Paul Pierce, in saying “I was praying to God he wasn’t going to hit that shot because I knew he was going to bring out the wiggle.” Antoine Walker is one chubby bastard.

Right, sports. Someone just wake me up when they finally get that A-Rod deal done. I’m sick of hearing “It’s 95% done!” over and over again. The AL East is getting ridiculous, by the way. It’s like the West verus the East in the NBA. ‘cept this year, it’s going to be the American League East versus the rest of the league. I think the Yankees might hit like $200 million this year, in their mad arms race with the Sox. Boston has essentially become a bizzare combination between the Yankees and the LA Lakers, with truckloads full of money and players coming from all over in the hopes of a ring. Baltimore is going that way too, quoted saying “money ain’t a thang.” Miguel Tejada and (probably soon) Vladimir Guerrero? That ain’t fair! If they had anyone on their team that could pitch a baseball, I’d actually be kinda worried about them. And meanwhile, we’re on the streets begging for a payroll raise so we can afford Rich Aurilia. COME ON! WHY!?! So not only do we need to compete with the Bosox and the Yankees for a playoff spot, we gotta deal with the Orioles too? Thank goodness that Tampa Bay sucks.

And hockey. Yeah…uh…Leafs good. …and all that. But Philly’s also surprisingly and ridiculously good, especially with Comrie. As good as we are this year, I’m scared of another second round exit via the Flyers. But if we beat Ottawa again…oh how sweet would that be? I’m glad those dirty bastards are only 13-10. I ended up watching that game against Tampa Bay, when I should have been studying. Gary Roberts is my boy! In other news, we need to find or name someone “Blue” so I can use yet another Ferrellism.

Oh, and I watched 24 as well, in favour over studying. Teh bestest show evar! BitTorrent this baby if you have to, or just wait for the DVD sets and the inevitable 24-marathons that will follow. I wish I could pull lines from this show, but I don’t know how many people watch it. So very good. The sweetest part about it is that it contains just the right amount of retarded ridiculousness to make it enjoyable. I’m still laughing about that cougar attack from Season 2. Ah…Kim. What will we ever do with you?

Okay…what else I got? Did I mention I hate chinese people? No? Let me do it now then. I hate chinese people. But not in the hateful sort of hate. It’s more of a ha ha type of hate. Good hate. All I know is that I would not know where any of my jokes would come from if I wasn’t a CBC. I also recently learned that out of my entire extended family, there is not one person I am blood related to that was also born in Toronto. Sure, there’s some *snicker snicker* North York fellows, but I’m the only one with the birth certificate that says “Toronto”. That rules! I just wish that I could rule at something that people actually cared about.

I’ve been cleaning up my basement lately, and I found some really weirdass stuff. Like Battle Masters. Remember that!?! Pray that you don’t. I have really no idea why I have a copy. But I am never opening this box – that’s for sure. I also found this creepy “action figure” I built as a child, by combining different parts of different toys, Frankenstein-style. And I wish to God that I had never uncovered it. It haunts my dreams, screeching out “WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME MASTER!?!” Its rage is blinding. I threw it in a bonfire yesterday, and when I went to bed, it was there again on my bedside table.

…okay, that was a lie. I’m actually too scared to throw it away, JUST IN CASE it actually did something like that. But this bitch really creeps me out – I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I made it. …well okay, I do. It was most probably something along the lines of “This is going to be the coolest toy EVER!!!”

Anyway, here’s some videos.

A disturbingly interesting story about fifty cents worth of grapes.

Some dude with a lot of horns strapped to his body.

Crabs are suckers.

Anyone think beatboxing is really cool?

And for some reason, I found the Schloshd Beer Flash uploaded in my folder. I must have done it earlier, but forgotten to link it or something. Ah well. They also do not like Hitler!

…you know what? That’s all I got. Have fun. I’ll bring back some gifts and assorted hookers, if I can get them past customs.



Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.



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