When I was a little kid, I had a friend who’s household was cat obsessed. These “domestic pets” looked all innocent and cute, but that’s just a ruse. In reality, they are waiting in the shadows, biding their time until they can pounce on your jugular in one fell swoop. Or something. I don’t really have a good excuse for why I’m a wuss, but quite frankly, cats scare the shit out of me.

Especially after my friend asked me to carry one of his cats up the stairs. I was so afraid, that I didn’t even notice until later that I had three or four streaks of red running down the back of my hand. I promptly destroyed that kitty, and ate her for dinner. Because I’m Chinese.

Which is an awful thing to say, if I had any sort of moral decency. Although in all fairness, it actually tried to eat me for dinner. I barely escaped with soiled undergarments. A small price to pay, dignity is.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I have this site that evokes that same fear of all things cat, which you can go to here. I warn you, it’s not for the faint of heart.

Fuckin’ kittens.