Two days ago, I woke up to see a bug of some sort staring at me from the other side of my pillow. Not exactly the most comforting thing to see first thing in the morning, but it did do a good job of waking me up. But before I can get my glasses on and smash it real good for violating the santity of my bed, it crawls down between the bed and the wall, eluding me. So now, I obviously have to check it out in case there’s a whole colony living under me while I sleep.

So Friday night, I drag my bed out from against the wall and into the middle of my room for some good old fashioned cleaning, which is something I do maybe…once a decade. And wow. There’s a whole other world down there. I found two Kinder Surprise toys, a thousand socks (none of which match), a school project of the solar system on bristol board, and a sentinent race of dust bunnies. I also found an issue of Disney Adventures with a preview of Batman Returns. So one thing leads to another, and now it’s midnight. I’ve ended up reading the entire thing, and now everyone in the house is asleep, and there’s no one to help me move the bed back after I’ve vacuumed. I can’t do it myself, because I’m afraid to scratch the floor…and also because I have the strength of a ten year-old school girl.

So I decided to leave it, and yesterday night, I slept in the absolute center of my room. And for some reason, it’s a heck of a lot creepier than you would think. There’s at least five feet of empty space in every direction, and it’s just unnerving. At night, I keep expecting a hideous clown monster to lean over my headboard and stare down at me. Before, there was a wall there. Now…there could be anything!

So this morning, I was going to move it back…but laziness got the better of me. And it’s kinda cool moving your furniture around. So I think I’m going to keep it like this, until I get bored of it. Or until I’m unable to go on with so little sleep, because I’m terrified the clowns will eat me.

Everyone should try this.