(A Random Post)

It’s been a frustrating fews days for me. Because just as soon as I got my internet up and running again, my computer died on me. And then last night my internet died too. Seeing as how I need both and at the same time to do things…it’s been a bit tricky. So I’m sitting here in New College (which is anything but new), back after handing in an assignment at 10:00. Even though my first class is at 4:00. Oh yes, the magic of commuting. You know what’s even sweeter than that though? I just checked my email, and apparently my TA emailed me a correction to the lab that I just handed in. To an email account that I wasn’t able to check last night. Ho ho! How hilarious life is.

But it’s the final crunch before December exams, so I guess little bumps in the road are to be expected. It’s been pretty frantic, and although I managed to avoid an all-nighter so far this year, I was up until 4:30 AM the other night (Monday?)…which is practically an all-nighter.

You’ve all heard the stories and theories we have regarding having less than four hours of sleep. You live on an edge. Your mind works faster, your wit gets sharper, jokes come to you more easily. Even your senses are enhanced – colours are more vibrant, you can feel the vibrations of the approaching subway from a mile away, you can smell the fear and digust on women as they try to avoid looking at you.

For a little while at least. Then afternoon hits and you crash, hard. Usually it’s like the wheels just suddenly fly off when you’re going 140, but this time for me, it was like the car was coming off pieces at a time. I never actually lost it, but I knew things just weren’t there. I felt fine – great, even – throughout the entire day. But my brain just wasn’t warmed up from a nice night’s worth of sleep, and I could tell.

How convenient it is then, that I started with a four hour chemistry lab. I was struggling to find simple words, like “spoon” or “beaker.” And so when I had to find compounds like salicylic acid out of a dozen containers of other wacky similiarly named things, it took awhile. I can’t count the amount of times I just froze during the lab and just lost it Memento-style. I couldn’t remember what was in the test tube in my left hand and what was in my right…I didn’t remember if I was going to dump them or to use them…I didn’t remember for which of my two simultaneous experiments it was for…I’m just amazed I didn’t kill myself. Turns out that to a person that has practically no sense of smell (for example…me) acetic anhydride and water are practically the same. Except that one’s highly combustile and corrosive, and one’s…well…water. Again – amazed I made it through that.

I wish I could remember what I did afterwards. All I have are vague memories of ninjas. (Naruto with Jess, remembering Chris Farley with Big AL, and killing fifty zombie Hand ninjas alongside Wolverine? Or was that dream I had where I was Jubilee?) But some notable bits stick out in my mind.

– I was in a rush to get on the subway and go home, so I was fast-walking through the station and approaching the gate things at a relatively high speed. Usually – because I’ve done it so many times over the past three years – dropping the token in and walking though is one smooth motion. No break in my pace, it’s like second nature. But things weren’t all there for me upstairs today, and I somehow forgot to put in a token. So I hit the rail at full walking speed, fully expecting it to turn, instead of completely knocking the wind out of me. …I guess I’m a pretty fast walker. The best part was that there were like a dozen people all around that managed to see me low bridge myself on a subway gate, and double up in pain while wheezing my breath back. Glory is mine!

– When I got home, I spent two minutes outside in the cold, in front of my front door wondering why my key didn’t fit. I realized after awhile that I was using my car keys. But this time, there were no witnesses. Whew.

– Got home, poured myself a glass of milk (successful) and decided to have a nice muffin or two before I got my much needed sleep. So I put them in the microwave…and I proceeded to dial my home phone number on the microwave keypad. I managed to realize what I was doing when all ten numbers didn’t fit. I remember thinking to myself at that point “Stupid Yak, you’re already home. Why would you call yourself?”

– I found out in the morning that proceeding the microwave-phone blunder – after insanely laughing to myself and drunkenly wandering off to bed – that I had forgotten about the muffins and had left them inside the microwave. So I had them for breakfast.

So let this be a lesson. Sleep = good and muffins = tasty. Good stuff.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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