Had another dream this morning, which for me, is like winning the lottery. Two days in a row. Lucky for me I have a blog to post whatever insane ramblings I want on it.

Ugh, either this Tim Horton’s breakfast sandwich is made with Chinese newspaper, or I just took a bite out of the wrapping around it.

…yup, it was the wrapping.

Anyway, the dream. This one’s a long one.

In the dream, I’m at a party, an awesome party full of video game debauchery, and crates and crates of free beer stacked up to the ceiling against the wall, with all the guys I know in life there, and not a single broad in sight. (Oh, it’s one of those dreams.) There was like a fifty computer LAN setup, cabinets against the walls, and consoles everywhere. There was even a PlayStation 4 there, but I could never catch a glimpse of it because there were so many people around it, like in that dream Homer has where he can’t see the device he invented that made him rich. It was the party of my dreams. Quite literally.

The problem was, I wasn’t enjoying it. Every single game I played – whether it was Command & Conquer: Red Alert on the computer or Marvel Superheroes on the arcade cabinet – was just the bass line from a random Rock Band song, only it was just one single green note over and over again. And the horrible thing was that I couldn’t even get it right, and everyone kept yelling at me and telling me how much I sucked at Red Alert or Marvel Superheroes, and I had the very distinct feeling in the dream that I was past my video game prime, and that my natural video game adaptivity gene had completely worn off or something. Another weird thing I’m only noticing now is that all the games were from like the late 90’s that I used to play during my Berczy days and high school – Red Alert, Jedi Knight, Chu Chu Rocket, Marvel Superheroes but no Marvel vs. Capcom 2…that was kinda weird.

It turned out to be a bizarre sort of ironic nightmare – I couldn’t get into any of the games, I didn’t feel like talking to anyone, and I kept reaching into a crate to pull out a beer that just tasted foul and bitter. But I spent the night drinking anyway to see if alcohol would improve things, but instead I just got sick.

Every time I looked up, there were fewer people there, and eventually I noticed that every positive male role model I had in life had left (I couldn’t name them, but I just knew in the dream that they were all gone), and I was stuck in a room full of people I didn’t respect with empty video game sounds and the bass line from Enter Sandman ringing through the air. And I just knew that they had all went to some other party, a great one where everyone was having fun.

And furthermore…I knew all the girls were there too, and not here. And thus I became convinced that I had to escape and get to this other party, no matter what the cost.

So I tried to leave, yearning to get to The Other Party, but every escape I tried lead me back to that horrible room. I tried going back to my room – somehow this huge arena was located upstairs in my house – to look up “The Other Party” on Google Maps on my computer (that’s actually what I was going to type in). But when I opened the door, there were already a dozen people in there in sleeping bags, and I didn’t want to disturb them, so I went back to the party. I tried to use my phone to call someone at The Other Party, but it was out of batteries. Then I tried going to the garage so I could drive away, but my car wasn’t there. And then I tried just sneaking out of the house and running away on foot, but every time I did I would bump into someone from the party and I’d end following them back.

This continued until I woke up, trying to get out of this party and failing over and over again, until I was interrupted from sleep by the sound of birds chirping at 6:40 AM…which is probably why this dream is so accurately preserved in my mind. I couldn’t fall asleep again, so I just left for work.

Weird dream though, and it was one of those that felt so real that it actually bleeds into your real life memory…I was lying awake thinking about this dream like it had actually happened the night before, trying to logically bridge the gap between the party and waking up in my bed.

Anyway.

If there was a metaphorical message or a deeper meaning to this dream, then it’s lost on me. I’ve never really been big on that stuff anyway.

Now it is time for Checkmate, an investigative look into the cheque cashing industry, brought to you by the same people who did Cereal is Dope.

CHEA!