(A Random Post)

I’ve added a new wrinkle to the site, over to the left there that you can use to switch to a different layout or skin for the site. It’s kind of lame right now because all I have is a black version of this (which I personally don’t use because it hurts my eyes) but I’ll add more as it amuses me. And I now I finally have a way to keep them all up here and to switch between them, so hurray for that.

I’ve found my mind wandering a lot lately, though never anywhere specifically. I’ve been afflicted with this inability to focus on anything in particular, yet I feel like I’m always mentally racing towards something…like my mind is working overtime on nothing. I wonder if it’s just something as pedestrian as sleep deprivation fraying my brain, or if it’s a symptom of a deeper, psychological issue. I feel motivated, energetic, even restless…but when I try to commit to something, it dries up and vanishes, like some smokey illusion of motivation that was never really there to start. I feel like I am pregnant with all of these ideas and I am just trying to give birth to all of them. My creative batteries are charged, and either I have too many ideas bouncing around in my head that I can’t concentrate enough to just choose one and go with it, or if it’s a lack of focus or a creative anchor that I need to really rally behind. For example, I constantly wake up in the morning with a new idea or angle to approach a piece of Project Artemis with…but when I sit down to do it, it suddenly starts to look like a ill fit or just a bad idea to start with. And meanwhile, it’s like just working on it inspires a handful of other ideas for other things, but none of them are really ever fully formed and they kind of disappear into thin air as well as soon as I try to look at them more closely.

I suspect this is either just because all of my ideas are terrible and I’m just having a lot more of them lately because I’m eating weird things before I go to bed, or I have a large poisonous tumor that is chemically causing insanity in my brain.

Now here are some links.

– If you haven’t seen these already, here’s a handful of personal pictures of Seth Petruzelli, the man who embarrassed Kimbo Slice this past Saturday, even though the fight was already fixed against him. What’s interesting about this is that out of all the people involved, Ken Shamrock comes out as the biggest loser, allegedly injuring himself the day of the fight and being trash talked by his own brother. A brother vs. brother (Frank Shamrock was adopted), Ken Shamrock vs. Frank Shamrock fight coming up? Please no, I’m so sick of Ken Shamrock, I just want him to retire already and shut up. Regardless, everyone’s wondering about the future of EliteXC now that their biggest attraction – the undefeated, mythical internet street brawler Kimbo Slice – has possibly been exposed as an unskilled hack, after being owned so handily by a no-name, replacement scrub. I mean if it was a sneaky ankle lock like with Brock Lesnar or if his ground game was exposed on the mat, then maybe you could blame it just on inexperience or even the element of randomness or luck inherent in all MMA fights in general…but you can’t, he just got beat because he sucks. It saddens me a bit, just because of all the comedy we stand to lose, but Kimbo’s MMA career is in doubt right now, and the whole EliteXC league is tied to him (but I don’t really care about the league, just Kimbo).

Though at least they still have Crush.

– Speaking of huge, crazy, black people…Shaq has apparently added “The Black Michael Phelps” to his already pretty long list of nicknames he’s given himself. This is awesome.

– A device that takes bread, turns it into toast, and shoots it onto your plate!?! WHAT!?!

– The ignorant ideas and thinking that prompts nonsense like 5 new rules for dealing with race at work being published in the public domain is exactly what’s wrong with the world, and reading articles like this is depressingly deflating and discouraging to my personal lifestyle and selfless campaign to promote the acceptance and practical applications of racial stereotypes in mainstream society. What is this bullshit!?! I mean, look at Rule 3…“Racist jokes rely on an unspoken, shared knowledge of racist stereotypes. Without the stereotypes, there is no humor.” Look at this! What kind of world do we in live such that the self described social experts, the pretentious, overly sensitive tightasses that dictate what should and should not be, yearn to eradicate humour from our workplaces, and thus and our lives? The use of stereotypes is just another tool, another form of clever allusions and references in jokes, to frame ideas into a relevant context, charging words and phrases with additional meaning and pretext, layering it as a literary device so that it becomes varyingly effective still depending on which angle at which it is approached from or interpreted, such that the comedic yield of a properly told joke is maximized. These people are the real racists, those that are unable to appreciate and celebrate the inherent unique characteristics of their fellow human beings, and instead wish for a world in which the infinite number of stories of each human life to be expressed upon the giant canvas of human experience as broad, monochrome brush strokes instead of the brilliantly multicoloured radiance of impossibly fine speckles from the rich mosaic of laughter, tears, grief, and hope that it requires and demands. I’m left to wonder about the nature of the world I live in, and while I have absolutely no idea how much of this inane rambling of mine I actually understand, much less believe…I feel very strongly that it is an issue that which we should all feel very strongly about. Even if I don’t know specifically how we should feel about it, just that it should be very strong, whatever feeling we inevitably resolve to feel about this whole thing.

– Off the top of my head, I really cannot think of a better way to spend $60,000. I think it’d be worth it if even just to experience the sheer joy of seeing the likeliness of your own face explode in a brilliant shower of loose LEGO bricks when you jumpkick that motherfucker. …though I suppose you could also request a replica of someone else if you don’t share my particular vision of wanting to kung-fu-kick your own LEGO doppelganger in the face.

– Though if you want to spread that into weekly installments of approximately $2,500 and rent a robotic exoskeleton from the Japanese instead, who would I be to suggest otherwise? Imagine what this would do for (and how it’s intended for) the physically disabled…and then what it would mean if a normal, physically healthy and capable human being got their hands on (or legs into) this. I bet it’s what Superman feels like whenever he’s wearing a robotic exoskeleton.

And then imagine if you had $62,500 to spend, and had a use for a life sized LEGO replica of yourself that could walk on its own.

That would be a pretty good week for you.

– A new study shows that one in four mammal species face extinction. To start, I find it a bit bogus, considering that it was completed by the International Union for Conservation of Nature, which doesn’t exactly scream objectivity to me. It’d be like commissioning KFC to perform a study of what the tastiest animal is. I can’t trust anything the IUCN says about endangered animals. Now maybe if we had an opposition party like the International Union for Hunting and Eating Animals or the Injustice League perform their own study and compared the results, then we’d have something. But whatever, assume these results can be trusted, that this whole thing isn’t another propaganda vehicle being rolled out by the biased liberal media to further their own Zionist agendas (everyone knows how the Jews love animals). I say, good riddance. There’s a reason we’re at the top of the food chain and the dominant species of this planet – because we beat all the other animals, tooth, nail, claw, and prehensile thumb in a evolutionary battle royale. We earned our spot, fair and square. And now that we want to stretch our legs out a bit and cut down a rainforest or two or, net some tuna on the very planet that we own, here come the sore loser animals, blinking their sad puppy dog eyes (even though they are seals) and appealing to the sympathizing, open toe sandal wearing, tree hugging, hippy demographic. Forget you, animals. You guys just didn’t want it bad enough back when it actually mattered. “Currently, 79 percent of Asia’s primate species face extinction?” Yeah? Well good, because then maybe they’ll stop stealing jobs from hard working human beings.

(“Both monkeys are household pets and are certified by the local authorities to work at the tavern. They clock in a maximum of two hours a day and are appreciated by customers who tip them with boiled soya beans.” …there are monkey labour laws in Japan!?!)

Kiss my fuckin’ ass, grey-faced sengi. U-S-A! U-S-A!

You’re so strong! Oh God, you’re having your way with me! Your back is like a barrel of snakes!

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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