(A Random Post)

Check this post out from the baseball blog in the sports section of The Globe and Mail (the best baseball coverage in the city)…ha! And then check out the first (only?) comment! That’s right, baby!
EDIT: Ah, what the hey!?! The comment was really just an excuse to get “Happy Birthday Rabid Emu!” enshrined into cyberspace forever on a site that wasn’t our own…but it just wasn’t meant to be – they edited that part out…among other things, including the bit where I called Robert McLeod a “dirty Mexican sand negro”…but I think that was largely unrelated. Now I’m just a big nitpicking baseball nerd. (Still, the link itself is pretty interesting, noting how the Blue Jays infield up the middle is the best in the AL.) Also, Duke Smith is an idiot.

Now I will just have to use this word mosaic generator to express myself. I was thinking about the skull shape, but I think these colours work better with a heart.

The first of us is now a quarter centennial man.

In other news, after four months, I am now back on pager rotation at work this week and already getting killed with the extra work it requires. The last guy handed it off to me and it started going off almost immediately. I’m not even really surprised at my luck with these things any more. Whatever, let’s just throw up a few more links to round this out and then that’ll be it.

– I’m not sure what amuses me more about this video – the crappiness of the game, his hopeless frustration, or the fact that I have a PS3 and can play MLB 09: The Show instead. Although any happiness I derive from this is balanced by the eternal sadness that EA Sports’ MVP Baseball is no longer with us.

– Have you ever heard of Marla Olmstead – the child prodigy that paints abstract art? This has to be one of the biggest scams of our current delicate yet pretentious society…selling the shitty scribblings of a child for tens of thousands of dollars to asshat art connoisseurs. You know whenever you walk into a fine art museum and check out some of the abstract art pieces that the gallery bought for millions of dollars, and you wonder if you could just find some preschooler’s finger paintings and get rich by passing them off as abstract art pieces too? Well someone’s beat you to it.

Here’s a 2004 article on this wonder child – it’s an interesting read. This never would have happened back when I was a kid. If I ever walked in and distracted one of my parents from doing something, I would have gotten a slap in the head, a belt whipping, and an afternoon of the good old fashioned Chinese water torture. Instead, in today’s world, this girl’s parents appreciate and foster her artistic propensity and makes tens of thousands of dollars by selling her as a child prodigy. “Kandinskyesque!?!” Look at the paintings yourself, you tell me if there’s any sensational talent behind them or if it all just looks exactly how you’d expect a child randomly throwing paint on a canvas would look. In a society where every child is special, you can get away with anything. This is also an effective reminder that you can really sell anything as long as you market it well enough. There will always be silly rich white people to buy your crap as long as you say it’s art.

Imagine if you had one of these hanging in your living room and someone asked you about it. “Oh yeah, you like that piece? I bought it from a 4 year-old for $10,000.” You’d be the biggest pompous faghat in history; I’d punch you straight in your Frasier Crane sounding mouth.

The paintings are given simple titles and signed ‘Marla’, sometimes with the ‘r’ reversed

OH HOW CUTE THE R IS BACKWARDS BECAUSE SHE IS A CHILD AND CANNOT PROPERLY SPELL THE CHARACTER R

I am suffocating – drowning – in the idiocy of this world.

And so very jealous that I haven’t figured out any get rich quick schemes yet of my own.

– Here’s another example of how wacky the world is these days. The FDA is now claiming that Cheerios is a drug based on the manner in which General Mills markets it as a preventative for hypercholesterolemia or coronary heart disease (as part of a balanced breakfast). Just clearly a case where someone’s got way too much taxpayer money and time on their hands. What’s the public risk in allowing General Mills to continue advertising Cheerios as something that can prevent heart disease if you eat lots of it? That people will eat a lot of cereal with the mistaken impression that they won’t have heart attacks any more? What are the benefits realized by forcing them to change their marketing angle? Eliminating the possibility that people will confuse a breakfast ceral as a heart disease drug? It has a cartoon bee on the box!

– Saw this trailer for a new Discovery Channel show called Weaponizers. It’s been described as a cross between Junkyard Wars and RoboWars…and I think that’s pretty apt. Guys have a week to turn a normal car into a remote controlled engine of destruction to blow up the other guy’s engine of destruction…it’s one of those ideas that make you wonder how nobody came up with it earlier. Great trailer too – quick cuts of explosions, machine guns, and more explosions. If this show had a stock, I’d invest my life savings into it and retire to a nice spot in the Caymen Islands after the first season. Or maybe just use the returns to pay off the debt I owe from that bad investment I made in 2007, when I thought Katharine McPhee’s Love Story was going to take over the world. (Not even a single romantic comedy movie trailer? OH COME ON!)

– I don’t really have any special interest in Punch-Out!!‘s return on the Wii…I just think it’s really funny that Clay Davis went from being a Maryland State Senator to training washed out boxers in a decrepit gym.

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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