(A Random Post)

Angry Blog Writing

Battlefield – Jordin Sparks

Shirley calls me today. She’s been in Scotland for the last month or so and yes, yes, I admit it…I missed her. Is that okay?

I knew she was getting back this month though I didn’t remember when so for the last week or so I’ve been psyched waiting for her to call me. Why am I admitting this? Shit, I don’t know.

I got sent home early from work today, probably because they could smell the scotch in my breath. The recent storms have wreaked havoc on the course and they didn’t need as many people as usual today. I wanted to stay, but they threatened to call the cops again so I reluctantly put away my blackjack and drove home.

She calls around 11:30. I do my best to not sound excited. I decide to bypass all the questions about her trip and all that because I figure she’s calling me to make plans and we can talk later. We don’t set anything in stone, but I tell her we’ll talk after I have lunch and we’ll do something. Smooth sailing so far.

I eat and fall asleep on the couch. I see that it’s about 2:00 and I’m kind of disappointed that she hasn’t called to check up on me. I call her back and she asks if I want to go to a Passion Pit concert tonight. I absolutely DO NOT WANT TO, but I want to see her so I half-heartedly agree. My enthusiasm is further squashed by the prospect of having to meet some of her friends from work. Wow, that sounds like it would be fun for me. She knows how much I love meeting new people. She even says we can meet up with her buddy Colin for dinner and all three of us can spend time together. Oh man, this is going to be a blast. I tell her I’ll call her after I get my mom from work.

To my surprise, Shirley has already left the house when I get back to her. She tells me that she’s going to meet Colin around 6:30 so she decided to head down. We are a five minute drive away from each other and she couldn’t wait for me. I’m hurt. I also find out that she’s been back in town since last Thursday. I’m very, very hurt. In all fairness, I had sort of made up my mind to not go out…but she didn’t know that and she certainly could have made an attempt to persuade me to do otherwise.

I know, I know, I know.

Don’t say anything. Just don’t. I know this isn’t about me. She’s back home, she has things to take care of, I shouldn’t take this personally. Well, I’ve been mulling this over for the last hour and I’ve considered the facts and damn it, I am choosing to take this personally. Why can’t this person who I care about so much take a couple of hours out of her day to hang out with me? Why am I being a bitch about this? Why can’t I just be honest with her? Trust me, I’m far more mad at myself for making a big deal out of this. I’m super pissed right now. I know I shouldn’t even be posting about this, but there’s no going back now. How it will pain me to click that “Publish Post” button.

I swear – I swear to whatever God you think I believe in – I swear that if she calls me tonight to pick her up from somewhere…it’s not going to be good.

*****

Now, the real reason for this post. Links. *sigh*

Yeah, Cracked.com is nothing but a website of half baked lists. But sometimes those lists fan be pretty funny. Here are 6 Famous Characters You Didn’t Know Were Shameless Rip Offs. And now it’s time for some ultra-violence: The Top 10 Ragdoll Physics Moments in Mixed Martial Arts. I would advise that you not be eating anything if you watch #3. It’s magically delicious.

I don’t think it’s news that Natalie Imbruglia‘s first single was actually a cover, but I never got around to listening to the original version of Torn. There were actually two versions written and recorded by the obscure LA rock group Ednaswap. Here is the slower, more different version, which I find quite enjoyable. Obviously, it’s missing Natalie’s more radio-friendly vocals and video-friendly hotness that would later make the song a massive hit.

Somewhat more recent (though still old) is this official video from Marie Digby that nobody ever got around to posting. Maybe everyone watched it except for me. Regardless, if you haven’t seen it, here it is. Decent tune, cute video, Marie lookin’ fine as hell. What else do you need?

Courtesy of ESPN’s Patrick Hruby (an excellent sportswriter), Dana Carvey’s Choppin Broccoli.

And lastly, the Kenny Powers baseball card. Cool stuff, except for the GS (Games Started) statistic. He started 49 games with Atlanta? Am I reading that wrong? What is this, 1906?

If you’re really strapped for cash, sell the jet ski.
I don’t tell you what to do with your money. Don’t fuckin’ tell me what to do with mine, okay? And Cassie, do not stare at me with those dead eyes you church bitch!
Kenny!
Instantly, I regret saying that. That was a horrible thing to say. It’s just…I’M KENNY POWERS and I’m very upset with how I’m acting right now! I just have a very hard time expressing my emotions and I can’t stop from yelling! So I am very sorry! I don’t mean to offend you Wayne! You have fuckin’ pissed me off but I’m just very upset right now! So I’m going to go ahead and go, but I’m not going to stop yelling because then that’ll mean I lost the fight! So please leave a key under the mat! I love y’all very much! Peace out!

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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