Live Blog: Friday Afternoon Meeting

Instead of printing out this 49 page design document and committing an act of ecological terrorism, I’m just going to bring my laptop to the meeting room. Incidentially this will also allow me to live blog my 2:30 to 4:00 technical design document walkthrough meeting.

2:31 – Feeling good, meeting chair has brought Chunks Ahoy! Triple Chocolate cookies.

2:35 – Cookies too far from me, reaching for them would be an overly conspicuous move. All my attention has now been consumed by this box of cookies, I’m not paying attention to anything this guy is saying.

2:40 – Cookies have finally passed by close enough for me to sample…this is such a huge thrill. WHOA…I think these are cookies with normal chocolate chips, dark chocolate chips, and white chocolate chips, all together

2:41 – …too much going on at once, I’m not digging these cookies. Man’s reach has exceeded his grasp.

2:57 – I asked a question and opened my mouth for the first time this meeting. I hadn’t spoken in like half an hour, which combined with the sugary phlegm left in my throat from the cookie, necessitated an unexpected and amateur throat clearing two words into my question. Disappointing. No more questions from me.

3:16 – Wow, I’m really feeling that pint I had during lunch now. Brain slowing down…must keep…writing…to stay…awake…

3:29 – No Friday afternoon meeting should ever last more than an hour, this is ridiculous.

3:33 – Someone from the business group has asked an overly complicated and irrelevant question over the conference bridge. I am grimacing internally, trying to avoid rolling my eyes in pure disdain. This is a walkthrough of a technical document…why are you asking business questions!?! This meeting has now passed into the point where anyone that does anything that I might possibly consider an unnecessary delay to the end of this meeting is now forever on my eternal enemies list.

3:38 – I almost have a heart attack as someone asks me an unexpected question, while I’m zoning out and daydreaming about softball…which I handle with a sublime, Baryshnikovian grace. If I had internet access in here or if YouTube wasn’t blocked at work, I’d post up the spider-sense scene from the Spider-Man movie where he sees everything in slow motion…that’s how good I am. The resulting adrenalin rush has also now allowed me to find my second wind – I will now be fully awake and wired for the remaining duration of this meeting.

3:40 – This is only one cookie left now. Everyone is afraid to take the last one so it just sits there in the middle of the table, taunting and daring everyone that looks at it. I bet Bill’s going to take it.

3:45 – The same person asks yet another unnecessarily long question about nothing…I am staring at the speaker phone, trying to telepathically murder this woman through the phone line before they can finish.

3:47 – Last section of the document…WE ARE ON THE HOME STRETCH!!!

3:58 – People are gathering loose papers together and closing their notebooks…

3:59 – WEEKEND!!!

4:00 – Bill took the last cookie has he left the room, I FUCKING KNEW IT.

Mr. Christie, you make good cookies!

Reply

About

Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

Search

Subscribe

Atom, RSS 1.0, RSS 2.0 - no idea what the difference is.

Tagboard (!?!)

Apparently PHP7 doesn't support the same function calls I wrote in 2008? I should fix this at some point.

Recent Posts

Archives