Tricks Are Something A Whore Does For Money

Just some links to keep up the illusion that this site is updated on a semi-regular basis.

– I don’t know if this Blind Date episode is new for everyone here, but if I haven’t seen it then it’s new to me! This guy is just killing it from the start – I wish I was like that. This should be the strategy for every girl you go out with for the first time – imply that they’re a stripper and then see what new directions that takes you. Oh Asian women…you so crazy.

– How come I have never heard of these MMA figurines until now? (Warning, obnoxiously loud generic rock rifts will play once you open that link.) And this company is based out of Markham!?! Apparently they are coming out with a new round of figures…currently I’m trying to figure out if the Chuck Liddell figurine one is funnier than the Rampage Jackson one. It’s too close to call right now.

– I completely lost interest in the 2009 Blue Jays season almost like three months ago, but I found this call from last Sunday’s win against the Seattle Mariners really interesting, courtesy of the Mariners’ radio crew. That is indeed an absolutely fantastic call. This is the home run of interest, called by TSN’s television crew – which was really quite sucky in comparison. I think it’s the constant unprofessional giggling throughout both of the radio clips that really kills me.

You know what else kills me? Starting Clay Buchholz for my fantasy team yesterday and seeing Adam Lind – who is on my opponent’s team – jack three home runs off him. Thanks a lot, Toronto Blue Jays, for stepping up when it counts; in late September when you’re already like 20 games back and long eliminated from playoff contention. Honestly, if you’re still starting Kevin Millar, sitting Snider against lefties, and not throwing Ruiz out there every chance you get…I am completely justified in rooting for my fantasty team over you. At least the International Player Haters have a legitimate chance of bringing home a championship this year.

– In an effort to combat a possible Swine Flu outbreak, the NBA has apparently passed down an anti-handshake directive. Instead, coaches and players are encouraged to interact via fist pounds and chest bumps. …huh? I’m like 70% sure this is just made up…but why would you make this up?

– This poster raises the question of whether it would be more fun playing Left 4 Dead with the characters from House or watching them diagnosis a zombie outbreak on an episode of House. I bet it just turns out to be Lupus in the end. (If I don’t watch the show, is making a House/Lupus joke like making a racist black joke if I’m not black myself? It feels like I’m overstepping a line here.)

– This is kind of creepy (and incredibly scary if you imagine them suddenly all turning on you), and yet I imagine it’d be so fun to do. The internet tells me that he is Turkish and soliciting votes for the upcoming election, in exchange for a house and car for each of them if he is successfully elected.

3-1 pitch on the way…SWUNG ON, AND BELTED DEEP TO LEFT FIELD!