Winnipeg Chronicles #3: Steak Boss

I Would Be Your Man – The Odds

Quick one for this week. I thought I’d let everyone know if I’ve learned anything practical since I’ve been out here. One of the major things I wanted to do out here was learn how to cook and I can say that my cousin Derek has done a great job helping me learn the basics. We’re talking spaghetti sauce, eggs, sausage, all that good stuff. Nothing fancy.

Before he left to go back to Toronto last week, he trusted me to pick up a pork roast so that I would have something to eat while he was gone. Of course, I interpreted that as “pick up a steak”, which is what I did. He was not amused, but you know what they say: When life gives you steak, make steakinade and so it was. The scary thing was that he challenged me to do the same thing the next day by myself.

Sure enough, there I was on a Sunday evening with nothing to do but starve or prepare my own steak. I salted. I peppered. I massaged. I oiled. I overoiled. I dodged boiling oil as it flew out of the pan. I flipped. I flipped. I flipped again. I undercooked. I didn’t care. I ate.

No, I didn’t make the best steak ever. Yes, I flirted with salmonella. Who cares though? I can officially strike “Cook your own steak” off of my bucket list. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the hospital.

*****

Credit to Shirley for sending me this Mario Kart Love Song. Be honest with me. Have you guys seen this before, but you just didn’t want to post it because the guy is Asian? Shame on you.

Do you ever wonder, Lemon, what your life would be like if you had never left your hometown?
Oh, of course. Have you not read my terrible short story: “The Two Paths Of Virginia Apple?”

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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