This Blog Lives Again (No One Really Cares)

Check this out. I was literally just walking along that stretch of road earlier this morning! Well…not really this morning, more like yesterday after work, on the way to pick up my comics at Hairy Tarantula. And it wasn’t really that exact stretch of road, but rather the opposite side of the street, on the west side of Yonge. But still! I almost died! Shower me with your attention and well wishes!

I used to have a little VB.NET application that would parse through all of The WAMBAG archives and be able to give me numerous types of advanced posting metrics, like average characters per post, longest active posting streak, length of time between posts, etc. But alas…it is no longer with us. I had my laptop replaced at work (I had messed it up, likely with some questionable MBP downloads) and some of the files – including The WAMBAG Post Metrics Analyzer v1.0 – were unfortunately not backed up. And since I only wasted valuable company time doing looking at that stuff, I never kept a copy at home. So unfortunately I am not able to determine if my current month long inactive streak was actually the longest I’ve gone without posting since we started, a period dating all way back to 2002. Kind of felt like it though.

It feels weird now, going more than a few days without seeing this site updated, even if I rarely actually read any posts that aren’t mine (those I read an endless amount of times over and over again). I’d wager you’d have a difficult time finding another blog out there that is updated more frequently, provided that it’s specifically about nothing and is purposeless like ours is here.

I’d also wager that you’d have an even more difficult time finding someone that actually cared.

Into the links we go!

– David Wright currently has three home runs through only nine games, well on pace to return back to his normal 30+ homer seasons. He attributes it to situational training. I gotta get on that regimine myself…softball season is starting and I’m going to drink tons of Vitamin Water.

– I think Boombox is the most recent Lonely Island track to get the SNL Digital Short treatment, and it’s quality stuff. Oddly enough this has now completely satisfied the Julian Casablancas sized hole in my soul, and I no longer have any urge or desire to pick up his solo album.

Grown-Ups, starring Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, David Spade…and Kevin James. It feels so wrong that Chris Farley wasn’t still around to play the crazy fat guy in this shitty movie instead.

– No idea why this took me so long to post…but you need to watch this video for Super Street Fighter The Movie right now.

– I’m just doing housecleaning at this point of the post, throwing out anything that may possibly have value, with no actual concern if it’s actually worthwhile, and with no urge to describe them further. Star Trek: The Sexed Generation (have I really not posted this ever before?), the Birdemic trailer (too intentionally bad to properly enjoy, although there are still some good parts), and these scarily good Denzel Washington and Will Smith impressions (also, less good but still great Eddie/Charlie Murphy impressions).

– It’s no small secret that I am prone to exaggerate from time to time, especially while I am riding temporary highs from particular movies, songs, or games that I’ve just experienced (“temporary highs”…for example, I would play Dead Space and Fallout 3 until 3:00 AM on weeknights…and to date, I have not completed either of those games)…but I think this time it’s different. Mass Effect 2 is really, honestly, the greatest single achievement in mankind’s varied and storied history. The invention of the wheel and agriculture, the Industrial Revolution, the polio vaccine, the first Mass Effect…all just precursors and forerunners for Mass Effect 2. I am pretty sure I’m going to order this ridiculously nerdy hoodie already (I’m on the verge of going on an online spending spree now that our dollar has exceeded parity), I’m just trying to decide on the size. Damn you, exploitative cyber product placement! Where was I going with this again? Oh yeah, as if the game needed any help to further feature the greatest video game sound track of all time…this is a song dedicated to mining for minerals that samples the Mass Effect 2 theme and what I think is a line from Snatch, and references the Prime Directive. It’s called Those Minerals. This might be the greatest video game rap track outside of Gigaton Punch…not an easy feat.

– Finally, the Arizona dive bar I may have mentioned in person some time ago…The Meet Rack. It’s worth reading through all of the reviews, they’re all deadly. Arizona roadtrip!

I think I have saturated this post with enough links now. From now on, daily updates!

“It’s like a black Barbie doll in Arizona – nobody’s buying it.”

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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