Steak Night

Okay, I think it’s time for a proper post. I really felt like having some steak today for some reason, so I went out and bought a four dollar slab of F-minus meat, cooked it up super bloody in like 15 minutes, and ate it straight up. One of the 562 billion reasons it’s awesome living one your own. My fridge is unfortunately out of greenery right now, so I had to resort to eating a potted plant as my vegetable serving.

Just kidding, I have no real potted plants in my place.

It was plastic.

– Baseball’s back! I’m so excited. The first month of the season is always the best, when optimism is at its highest point, before reality sets in and you realize your team is not going anywhere once again this year. I forgot how crazy and fast paced this game was though – I feel older and older every year and I realize it becomes successively harder to keep up with the breakneck speed of the game. I mean, just check out this clip. Information overload! I can’t handle a feature on stadium concessions at the same time Kevin Youkilis works Fausto Carmona for four pitches, IT’S TOO MUCH. (The standard YouTube comments also do not disappoint.) And a couple of things…all side line reporters need to be females, and be at least moderately attractive. They bring absolutely nothing else to the table, so they might as well be there to break up the subtle monotonous homosexuality inherent in all professional sports that is not women’s volleyball or curling. Also, The Fried Trio? A deep fried Twinkie, cookie dough, and funnel fries? Jesus, I need to get to Cleveland. Rogers Centre concession stands, STEP YO DAMN GAME UP.

– Another thing that is so rewarding about following sports is when you stumble across videos like Great Moments in History with Gus Johnson. I mean it’s funny enough on its own, but when you appreciate just how accurate it is then you just can’t help but feed off that excitement a little bit. Listen, his name is AL Harrington, he gets buckets. That is just what he does.

Fake Magic being played on fake iPhones? REAL GANGSTER STYLES.

– Tons of wacky animated trailers have premiered since we last spoke. ThunderCats (surprisingly unshitty…?), the new anime X-Men opening (Don’t those five first notes sound oddly familar? Also, surprisingly lack of moon crying.), and the Stan Lee brainchild project The Governator.

Oh, wow. Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Jesus, there is so much to like about it. …everything. Everything is to like about it. I’m not even sure where to start first. Larry King? The kid sidekicks? The soundtrack? …yeah, its gotta be the soundtrack. This HAS to be real, I would be so absolutely devastated if it was not.

SHOCK!

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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