Glimpses Of Greatness

In light of recent events, I have grown a deeper appreciation for movie trailers as standalone distinct properties from the movies they are actually advertising. To that end, I would like to point out two absolutely delicious trailers for your intellectual consumption.

An Invisible Sign, starring Jessica Alba as a frumpy, socially inept, math savant that is teaching kids or whatever. Also starring some dreamy bearded dude from Six Feet Under who is caring enough to be able to see past her bangs, pigtails, and big lumpy coat to love the crazy super hot woman underneath. What a deep, sensitive guy. Also featuring Juno’s dad as apparently some mysterious reoccurring math wizard of some sort. Damn you Jessica Alba, why are you still doing shit like this? Why can’t you just embrace the Anna Faris/Heather Graham type roles as the one dimensional, hot girl character actors in comedies? Look at them, they have carved out very successful and respectable careers for themselves because they play within their means. We can’t all be Natalie Portmans and Scarlett Johanssons, okay? And Megan Fox, if you’re listening, this applies to you too.

What a stupid fucking movie.

I love it.

Dolphin Tale, the absolute most brilliant trailer I have seen in years. God, there’s so much to love about it. Every single piece is pitch perfect. The title, the fact that it’s inspired by a true story, the starring protagonist is an animal, the random hurricane, the soundtrack, the Morgan Freeman face palm, JESUS CHRIST IT IS SO PACKED WITH GOODNESS. Morgan Freeman is single-handedly bringing this movie to threatres, I love him for that. You replace him with like a Lawrence Fishburne or even a James Earl Jones, and this is a straight to DVD release, on the level of The Sandlot 3. I see this as like when LeBron carried the 2006-2007 Cavaliers to the NBA Finals on his own, these are equivalent and comparable feats in my mind.

In this case…I guess Ashley Judd would be Zydrunas Ilgauskas. Or Larry Hughes…? Not sure which is the more apt comparison.

I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone’s REALLY hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you’re not sure whether or not you like yet. You’re not sure where he’s coming from. Okay? You’re a bad man. You’re a bad man, Mikey. You’re a bad man, bad man.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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