Fuck You, Seattle

PAX Prime has been pretty cool so far…? I’ve been uploading some pictures for my own reference but you can check them here if you’d like. Deus Ex, Dead Island, Torchlight 2, and Bastion all just jumped to the top of my List Of Games To Buy And Ruin My Life with, so there’s that.

In my first two hours at PAX, I saw eight Asian girls. They were, all eight without fail, paired with a white guy. By the end of the first day, the Asian girl count was such – nine by themselves or with friends but otherwise unattached, eight paired with an Asian guy…and 31 paired with a white guy. Thirty one! And with the type of white guy you would find at PAX – exactly what you’re imagining in your head right now, but worse than that. And then add a hundred pounds. Minimum. I was a little creeped out at first at how blatantly people presented their fetishes so openly here, like it was something that should be celebrated. And after a while I actually got annoyed, because it seemed like the city itself was proud of how many Asian women/white guy couples it had and tried to rub it in my face literally every corner I turned. Like I get it, I don’t care, stop bragging about it Seattle, goddamn. Imagine one of those dirty white guys who always talks about how they had such an awesome time teaching English in Japan, and specifically mentioning all the time that they only date Asian chicks. If there was one city that perfectly captured that spirit, it would be Seattle. Ridiculous. It happened so often through the course of the weekend that creepiness turned into annoyance, which turned into anger, and turned back into creepiness again. It was like someone was actually purposely messing with me, the trend was so weird and blatant and stereotypically presented…I thought I was being pranked or living some horrible racist version of The Truman Show. The trend wasn’t unique to the convention, it was happening all over the city…although it just seemed to be particularly punctuated at the convention.

…I mean, there were some absolutely nasty couples. I’ve seen some absolutely disgusting things here this weekend. Never have I seen this weird fetish laid out for all the world to see so transparently. The worth of entire human beings and relationships just reduced to wacky racial hang-ups…it completely trivializes how normal people function in normal society. I think in Seattle, Asian women don’t date Asian men at all, like it’s a weird taboo thing over here. Like it’s so disgusting that it’s seen as being akin to intercoursing your cousin or something…I don’t know. It’s a shame too, because I think the seafood here is pretty decent, and it seems like every bar here has a wonderful and diverse selection of delicious beers from various local microbreweries. But I can never fully appreciate this city now. I mean…really? Come on Seattle, it’s like you’re doing this on purpose now. A weekend like this really casts some serious doubt towards my dreams of peaceful coexistence; our options really do seem to be dwindling sometimes.

I can’t come back here ever again. I just can’t.

Go Hawks.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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