I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

Just that I need to continue doing it.

– This past Tuesday, with another interesting walk-up at-bat music choice, Tony Cruz of the St Louis Cardinals chose to go with the wacky McConaughey chest beating bit from Wolf of Wall Street.

The Cardinals lost and he was 0 for 4 with two strikeouts.

– Whoa, there’s a new Weezer album coming out? Do you even care!?! Well regardless, the first single is out, and it’s called Back To The Shack. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be so obviously and literally an apology for everything they’ve done since The Blue Album…but it sure seems like it. Fuck subtlety, man! Rock out! Now if they actually explicitly proclaim a return back to their rock roots and still fail to recapture the same sweet sound they’ve been trying to do for the last two decades, what then? And for an album that’s supposed to be even more lighter than the recent pop swill they’ve pumped out, what are the chances of that? I mean seriously, from this interview…

“Hurley was kind of dark, and the new songs sound like you’re 16, riding your bicycle to get a Slurpee.”

Because right, the biggest thing we remember from Hurley was about how dark that album was. Weezer is an abusive spouse that I can’t leave because we have so much history together and I don’t believe that I’m deserving of anyone else’s love. It’s going to get messier before it gets better.

– Holy cow, Spray Cake? Those crazy Harvard kids. I also like how this dude and his girlfriend met and bonded over the idea…unless she is trying to take advantage of his idea and his Louisiana naivety and is just dating him for all the billions that can be made from creating an innovative aerosol-based pastry product empire. I want to see David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin tackle this one when the story’s all done.

– Here is a trailer for Halo: Nightfall…which is apparently not a video game, but a live action series set in the Halo universe, executive produced by Ridley Scott. Specifically it will be a webseries created by Xbox Originals, which is like an original content line that will just release things on Xboxs or some sort of Windows website? Weird. Another blurring of the lines between entertainment mediums. I mean will this be closer in quality to a video game cut scene or an actual Prometheus type feature film? This is a wacky world we’re heading towards.

– Oh shit, Russia loses contact with satellite full of geckos. Not looking good.

The Photon-M satellite and its reptile crew will probably be lost and fall from orbit in a few months unless specialists can re-establish communications with it, a source in the space industry told Interfax news agency. The four female and one male gecko on board will die from hunger within two and a half months or earlier if the craft’s life-support systems are also disrupted, the source said.

I mean in the slim chance the craft actually falls into an orbital path with Earth that delays the crash, and space raditation mutates a few gecko generations…I mean, what are we going to see when that satellite opens up?

…five dead geckos, most likely.

Alright, let’s get straight to the business. At 0800 hours this morning an American soldier was eaten by a Nazi dinosaur.