So it’s August 5th, 2004 today – exactly two years since the first post on The WAMBAG. I don’t want to say it’s the second “birthday” of the site, even though I may have done so in the past. Because the site had actually existed for a definite time before that first post – there was at least a solid three days it spent hanging around on the internet alone before I could get Blogger working. But figuratively speaking…it could also have been around for a lot longer. Maybe The WAMBAG is that one thing that’s lurked in our evil hearts, in our jaded minds, in our twisted dreams for years and years. Maybe The WAMBAG is a cyberspace manifestation of that thing we call The Vault. Not the thing itself, but a real ambient effect caused by its very existence? Could it be? But all I know at this point is that two years is a long time. Especially when you consider the relative attention span and degree of motivation possessed by the parties involved. I can’t say if I’m proud of being a part of a good thing for that long, or if I’m ashamed of society for allowing this to have continued for so long. But regardless…two years is TWO YEARS however you want to cut it.

Which brings me to my next point – one that I’ve often avoided addressing in the past – “Why?” Why do we do what we do when we what we do hanging out late with no curfew? And here is my own personal answer: there is no answer. I mean sure – boredom, avoiding real work, a place to find an odd link here and there – all contributing factors. I remember Emu once spoke about entertainment, and how we use this site to entertain ourselves and others. Well yes, certainly. But in the end, speaking for myself, there is no ultimate final reason that I keep doing this. Why justify it? I know I can’t. So why try and categorize or identity what it is we do here? Because as soon as you try and fit this site into some category, there are accompanying conventions you’re obligated to follow – even unconsciously – to maintain that category. And that won’t work for us. This site isn’t all about Sheep’s bizarre links, it’s not about Big AL’s wacky adventures. It’s not about anything, and thus, each new post has no established and designated predecessor to compare against. Each post is its own.

At the same time, just because there’s no reason this page is here, it doesn’t mean that it’s purposeless. It’s purpose is nothing, but that’s still a purpose…if you follow. I’ve seen mighty sites fall because they’ve lost their way, their love for the craft. They become aimless and falter – why bother, when there’s no reason to go on?

That is why I wish to bring back our mission statement. The one all the way back from when we first set out, on our glorious and pointless journey. As a special feature for the two year anniversary of the first post, here’s a shot of The WAMBAG 1.0, as preserved on my hard drive (until I run out of space for my pornography). I lost the tagboard though, so I had to port the current one in. Anyway, please note the little bit in the middle there…

The WAMBAG

Bewildered? Befuddled? Bored?

Feel just like a fish turned smelt?

Exactly civilian.

OUR MISSION

Nothing.

OUR PURPOSE

Also nothing.

SENSE MADE

None.

TIME PUT INTO THIS

50 seconds. Flat.

WELCOME TO THE INSANITY JOEY.

…okay, so yes – that was pretty damn weird, and I admit I have no idea what the hell I was doing back then. But that little bit – Our Mission: Nothing. Our Purpose: Also nothing. – governs what I do here, and dammit, I live my life by those words! So let us not forget. That mantra, our motto, The WAMBAG way of life.

So a big kudos to my crew – I don’t know how we got people to keep coming and how we pass off this crap as “content” – but the scam’s working so far. We did good. We DO good. From 2002 (when we had three visitors) all the way to 2004 (where we now have four, maybe five visitors).

So here’s to The WAMBAG.

…I’m like…holding up my glass of milk to the computer screen in a toast, in case you can’t really see.

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