(A Random Post)

HATCH – brother of Tontie – comes to us from the lovely and talented Jess, now over at orangetoast.org.

It is a difficult game, one that will no doubt consume your soul if you stare too long. Catch the goodies, feed your egg, hatch into something beautifully bizarre. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? In fact, it’s too simple. It has stolen my soul, and I cannot fight for it back. It is ridiculous. But Jess seems to have gotten the hang of it – her score to beat is an insane 146. There is no shame – NONE AT ALL – if you can’t even come close to beating it. It doesn’t make you any less a man if your weak seed cannot bring forth the mighty Tinta. Take it from me, I who have spent hours and hours trying.

So indulge her – give it a go. See if you can summon Ozmek, my first and favourite son. Go for 140. And then if you are blessed, usurp our evil queen and break her hold over this land by beating 146. It will be a long and difficult journey. You will lose faith, but keep the goal in sight and listen to your heart.

And then when you’ve beaten Jess’ score of 146, you can try and beat my score of 147.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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