Water Pigs

Tomorrow – Silverchair

24 packs of Nestle Water are on sale for $2.88 at the Food Basics I work at! Who says we don’t do ads on this site? Actually, the real reason I’m bringing it up is because these water-buying motherfuckers who come to the store are DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! Business has been fantastic since the sale started on Saturday, so I was like, “Oh yeah, this is great!” But I realized something. See, we have a limit of three per family on the water, so you have people constantly trying to get around that rule. Sometimes they’ll just go to different registers. Sometimes they’ll have two seperate carts. Sometimes, ooooh sometimes, you have these jerks who bring as many as they can fit in a shopping cart and say something like, “Uh, I’m buying this for me and my two neighbours.” AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!! Monday was fucking crazy. I swear it was the same 10 or 20 customers circulating in and out for 6 hours trying to get as much water as they could. This world is going straight to hell…but hey, at least we’ll apparently have plenty of water.

*****

Anyone see the movie Finding Forrester? There’s this climactic basketball scene in it and it makes no FUCKING sense! If you’ve seen the movie you’ll know what I’m talking about. Or maybe you won’t. I’ve sent in my report to Movie Mistakes. So far, I have received no reply.

*****

Chad Gaudin truly sucks. It’s funny, because if you’re a backup pitcher in baseball, for those of you who don’t know, you’re called a “reliever”. Well, what’s the opposite of that? I had the same thought about the Red Sox bullpen a couple of seasons ago. What do you call a guy who not only provides no physical or mental relief, but actually increases the anxiety that one feels while his team is holding onto a lead. I’ve thought about this for a long time now and I’ve got nothing. Nothing.

*****

William, if you haven’t seen Wedding Crashers yet, do it. I can honestly say that it is the most fully realized film by the group yet. “The group”, of course, referring to Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Jack Black and Vince Vaughn. Old School was great, but it was clearly only the beginning. Zoolander and Anchorman were amazing, but moreso as collections of skits than actual films. Starsky and Hutch featured some great moments, but was bogged down in its lack of identity (buddy flick or parody of buddy flicks?). Envy I didn’t even see. Dodgeball was good, though seeing Vince Vaughn play the altruistic nice guy was unsettling. I may be forgetting something, but regardless, Crashers is real good. It lives up to the extremely high expectations I had going in. From beginning to end, everything clicks…well, the ending is a bit sappy, but other than that it works. I still wouldn’t put it up there with the Happy Gilmore‘s and Tommy Boy‘s of the world, though seeing as how these films are really the spiritual successor to the SNL flicks, I can’t wait to see what they come up with next.

*****

I shouldn’t, but I must. Here’s a link to the Ice Queen’s blog. I’m not sure if anyone else who visits this site will find her attractive, but she’s a knockout to me. Her latest profile pic, which I saw for the first time a few days ago, almost gave me a nosebleed. I’m like George in that episode where Jerry is dating the masseuse and George becomes obsessed with her:

(script courtesy of Seinology.com)

George: Jerry, could you excuse us for a few minutes, please?
Jerry: What for?
George: We need to talk.
Jerry: You need to talk?
Jodi: We have nothing to talk about.
George: Look, it’s no secret what’s going on between us. She doesn’t like me. Now Jerry, if you don’t mind.
Jerry: George, anything you have to say to her, you can say in front of me.
George: This woman hates me so much, I’m starting to like her.
Jerry: What?
George: She just dislikes me so much…It’s irresistible.
Jerry: I can see that.
Jodi: I’m getting out of here. Don’t call me.
Jerry: Don’t worry.
George: A woman that hates me this much comes along once in a lifetime.
Jerry: You’re a lucky guy.