(A Random Post)

Softball Report!

Very excellent day – our offense exploded in a thorough 21-10 win in our first playoff game.

Day at the plate!
Bottom 1st: Double to right.
Bottom 2nd: Solo home run to right.
Bottom 4th: Popped out to first.
Bottom 5th: Triple to center.
Bottom 6th: Single to center.
Yes, that’s right – I hit for the cycle, son! I remarked on this to Caesar who was coaching first when I hit my single, and he just scoffed at me because he had already hit three home runs at that point, with like 15 RBI’s or something. But you know what? Screw him. Three home runs ain’t SHIT. I hit for the motherfucking CYCLE, son.

In nearly 150 years in the history of professional baseball, only 275 players have hit for the cycle. By comparison, 10 players hit three home runs in a game last season alone, and already two have had three homer games this year (Carlos Lee vs. Philadelphia on April 13, and Alfonso Soriano vs. Atlanta on June 8). So forget that dude – I’m much more special.

Now if he had smacked four homers, things may have been different. Only 15 players have had four homer games.

Interesting to note that back in 1932 against the Philadelphia A’s, Tony Lazzeri managed to hit for a natural cycle (doing it in order, starting with a single and ending with a home run – there have only been 14 natural cycles) and his home run was a grand slam (only 6 cycles have included grand slams) – the only player in baseball history to have a natural cyclic grand slam.

However, his teammate Lou Gehrig also hit four home runs in the same game, overshadowing Lazzeri’s unique feat.

So you know what? Forget Lou Gehrig too, that bum.

And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for…stats! AL, I left the receipt in my car, so I’m doing this from memory. Feel free to edit this if I got your runs or RBI’s wrong.

Yak, Choking (SS)
Date Opponent Score AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI K
May 6 HBK W 14-8 3 1 2 0 0 0 1 0
May 13 SMM L 25-13 4 2 3 1 0 0 0 0
May 19 HFP L 23-7 3 0 2 0 0 0 1 0
May 26 PBB L 26-14 4 1 2 1 0 0 1 1
June 9 ISO L 15-14 4 1 2 0 0 0 2 0
June 17 CCP W 21-10 5 2 4 1 1 1 2 0

G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI K AVG OBP SLG OPS
6 23 7 15 3 1 1 7 1 .652 .739 1.000 1.609

AL, Big (OF)
Date Opponent Score AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI K
May 6 HBK W 14-8 3 0 3 0 0 0 1 0
May 13 SMM L 25-13 4 1 3 1 1 0 3 0
May 19 HFP L 23-7 3 0 2 0 0 0 0 0
May 26 PBB L 26-14 4 1 3 1 0 0 1 0
June 9 ISO L 15-14 4 3 2 0 0 0 0 0
June 17 CCP W 21-10 6 3 4 1 0 0 2 0

G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI K AVG OBP SLG OPS
6 24 8 17 3 1 0 7 0 .708 .833 .917 1.750

Next, the team that beat us 25-13. Can’t nobody hold us down.

“Strawberry, hit the showers. I’m calling in a pinch hitter.”
“But I’ve hit nine home runs today!”

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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