(A Random Post)

Softball Report!

It seems strange that for all the rules lawyering we did throughout the year, the one rule we didn’t know was like the most important one. Apparently playoff rounds only go two deep, and the seeding goes 1 to 4 and 5 to 8, not 1 to 8.

Meaning since we finished 5th…the most we could play for was 5th place. So the time honoured practice of professional sports in coasting until we got to the playoffs didn’t really payoff, since we didn’t get a shot at a championship.

We won’t screw around next season like we did this one.

And we’re going to kill the next time around too, because now we’ve finally shifted into gear and we’re playing for real, as opposed to before, when we were pretend playing.

Day at the plate!
Bottom 2nd: RBI single to center.
Bottom 4th: Triple to right, took home on the throw.
Bottom 6th: Popped out to first.
I want to say that I homered again, but it was a pitiful flare that blooped into shallow right, and honestly shouldn’t have been anything more than a single. Ah, only in softball can you stretch a single into a home run. I think, very briefly, while I was rounding second, I remembered how it felt to be fast again. I can’t tap into it any more…but for a moment there, I saw it – glimmering, on the edge of my vision, like the air above scorching hot pavement…I saw the Speed Force again. Just for a second.

And then I almost tripped and fell on my face, and had to remind myself that I’d never be that young and carefree again.

But feels good to win. Overall, our season finished at 4-4 – which I honestly don’t think is too bad, considering the troubles we were having at the beginning of the year. I think our midseason trade is what turned everything around…

Choking Yak (OF) + Big AL (SS) for Big AL (OF) + Choking Yak (SS)

Whenever you can ship off two disgruntled, malcontent clubhouse cancers for two positive, team first Gold Glovers…well…you just gotta make that move.

Yak, Choking (SS)
Date Opponent Score AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI K
May 6 HBK W 14-8 3 1 2 0 0 0 1 0
May 13 SMM L 25-13 4 2 3 1 0 0 0 0
May 19 HFP L 23-7 3 0 2 0 0 0 1 0
May 26 PBB L 26-14 4 1 2 1 0 0 1 1
June 9 ISO L 15-14 4 1 2 0 0 0 2 0
June 17 CCP W 21-10 5 2 4 1 1 1 2 0
June 23 SMM W 20-9 3 1 2 0 1 0 1 0

7 26 8 17 3 2 1 8 1 .654 .731 1.038 1.769

AL, Big (OF)
Date Opponent Score AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI K
May 6 HBK W 14-8 3 0 3 0 0 0 1 0
May 13 SMM L 25-13 4 1 3 1 1 0 3 0
May 19 HFP L 23-7 3 0 2 1 0 0 0 0
May 26 PBB L 26-14 4 1 3 1 0 0 1 0
June 9 ISO L 15-14 4 3 2 0 0 0 0 0
June 17 CCP W 21-10 6 3 4 1 0 0 2 0
June 23 SMM W 20-9 4 3 4 0 0 0 0 0

7 28 11 21 4 1 0 7 0 .750 .857 .964 1.821

AL’s .750 average has got to lead the team, if not the league. He has thoroughly outhit me from an average perspective, although I surprisingly lead him in power, resulting in only a difference of 0.052 points in OPS. Though if you subscribe to the (correct) new school ideal that triples are more of an indicator of speed than power…then it’s not as close. Regardless, check out our Isolated Power (ISO or IsoP) stats which take empty, inflated batting averages out of the equation – .384 versus .214.

For your reference, those are good for 1st and 35th respectively in the league today.

Yeah, AL’s gonna get the big overpriced contracts from the Cubs or the Yankees…but some smart GM like Billy Beane’s gonna see me toiling away in the minors and sign me for peanuts…and we’ll both contribute similar win share totals in the majors. I’m going to be the next Jack Cust! And that’s what really matters in the end, right? Team success versus individual glory. Hurray team!

I’m already itching to get back out there. Good thing the next “season” starts in two weeks. And we’re going to be the next beginner’s co-ed self-pitch softball champions.

“Would you care to bet a million dollars on that?”
“Oh, if we’re going to bet, why don’t we make it interesting!”
“What, a million dollars isn’t interesting to you?”
“Oh, did you say a million? I’m, I’m sorry, my mind was elsewhere. I thought you would start with a small amount, then we would bait each other, and, well, you know how it goes. Yes, certainly, a million would be fine.”



Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.



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