Honourable Mention: Amy Winehouse

I love checking out Maxim’s Hot 100 list every year, just because it’s always so hilariously detached from reality. Doubly funny is how much outrage it causes on the internet and how people deal with it – by angrily forwarding the list to everyone they know and talking about it to anyone that will listen, kind of like how I am doing now. So why would Maxim ever bother to make a real list? The crazier it is, the harder they troll the entire internet. I say kudos to all the fine gentlemen at Maxim. This year’s iteration is especially good, featuring Katy Perry as #1 – I imagine that one cost whichever publicity agency her record company hires quite a pretty penny to arrange. The way I look at these lists is generally how the annual NBA trade value columns work. For example, if you were dating #25 on that list, you would absolutely never cheat on her with #77 on the list. But if you had a chance to move up to #15, you’d walk out on #25 in a second. Theoretically, I think that’s how it’s supposed to work.

Except none of that makes sense when you actually check the list – and I can’t imagine not ditching Katy Perry for like 90% of those girls…and if you edited it a bit to account for the odd Anna Paquin and Ke$ha type additions, I couldn’t even see anyone there I wouldn’t dump Katy Perry for. Regardless, it’s a bizarrely interesting column, seeing all the women that pop up like twenty spots too high or too low. These types of things are always worth a read. (Where are Amanda Seyfried, Christina Hendricks, and the usual cast of Victoria’s Secret models?)

Also, it is a column about 100 very hot women, so there’s that as well.

Another interesting bit is to find parallels and similarities or differences between rankings that can be isolated, like in economic studies. For example…in Bill Simmons’ 2010 NBA trade value column, David Lee sits at #36. White big man with great offensive talent, monster on the boards, plays zero defense. We go up to Kevin Love at #28 or Marc Gasol at #27…white big men who are also solid offensive talents and monsters on the boards, but who are also solid defenders. What does that tell us? Big man defense is worth approximately 10 spots on the Sports Guy’s trade value column.

Obviously the comparisons aren’t quite exact, but from a very quick and dirty standpoint, we have empirically show quantitatively how much trade value big man defense is worth. At least in Bill Simmons’ eyes. Rondo (#16) is Chris Paul (#7) without a jumpshot. Thus, a jumpshot is worth approximately nine spots. Chris Bosh (#12) minus a jumpshot is Al Horford (#20). Not too bad, right?

What happens when we look at the Maxim Hot 100 list? Katy Perry (#1) is Zooey Deschanel (#73) but with boobs. Boobs are worth 72 spots!?!

– Another list of amusing note…the 100 greatest inventions of all time as voted on by 4,000 British people aged 18-65. The exercise is futile to begin with anyway…I mean how can you expect normal people to rank completely unrelated historical inventions? Really odd entries on the list too…like the telephone is #6, and the iPhone is #8…beating mobile phones in general at #21 and also the iPod at #56. Did multiple people seriously vote for cats-eyes (#48) over the actual motorways (#74) that they exist on? Also, entries for hair straighteners, chairs, desks, the game of football, and Wellington boots…oh, you crazy Brits.

Internet lists…truly the lowest form of links there are.

– Speaking of which…here’s a list of 10 futuristic technologies we wish existed right now! Where is “self cloning?” …or is that too dangerous? (Yes, in case you were wondering, I did post that stupid list link solely to setup that Ahnuld link.)

– Coming soon from NBC…The Cape! Surely this will be the show that carries NBC back up to the top! On the other hand…Will Arnett sleepwalking through another Mitch Hurwitz show on FOX? Money money money! MON-EY!!!

– Is this the greatest take your daughter to work day video ever? Nope, it’s actually called Ice Ribbon, a bizarre Japanese pro wrestling circuit composed of 12 year-old girls. Excellent work once again, Japan.

Hamm & BublĂ©: the funniest SNL sketch this season? It’s up there!

– Ending this post with quick hilarious comics of unknown origin? Let’s do it!

“Why, only last year, a list was posted ranking McKinley’s 10 ugliest gingers, and the perpetrator would have been expelled had it not turned out to be a member of the FACULTY!”
“I stand by that list.”

One Comment


  1. Cheryl says:

    I haven’t been on Wambag in awhile so I didn’t realize you got rid of the public wall post on the side. So I’ll belt it out here… CELTICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And…

    SUCK ON THAT CARTER!!!!!!!!!!

    That is all.

Reply

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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