The Value Of Animation Rights

I am rewatching all of Arrested Development in preparation of the new episodes. To that end, I am disconnecting myself from the internet to avoid all the inevitable spoilers and references that leak out.

And then immediately after I power through them all, I will no doubt post all of those spoilers and references here, likely without spoilers because I am absent minded but also a horrible human being.

– This article, Animated ‘Flintsones’ Pic Adds Pro Wrestlers To Its Bedrock, contains maybe the greatest and most pun dense opening paragraph I’ve read in the last month. Just an absolute delight to read. An animated return for The Flintstones, a show that Sally Draper likely watched? I can’t imagine that the current generation of parents had too much Flintstones exposure, short of the 1994 live action John Goodman/Rick Moranis version. So no, I don’t understand how these properties still have enough brand value for Hollywood to keep banking on them…but the first installments of the Alvin and the Chipmunks and The Smurfs movie series combined for just short of a billion dollars at the box office, so what the fuck do I know? Though yeah, leveraging syngeries with professional wrestling is a natural fit here, obviously.

– What’s this, Dan Harmon has been asked to return to Community? I don’t even know what to think of this before we know exactly what capacity he will return in, especially considering the stylistic shifts the show’s taken this past season to mostly resemble The Walking Dead. Get it? Because like the show is all depressing to watch now and just stars zombies shuffling forward in a trite plot that no one cares about finishing? …okay, that was pretty forced. But admittedly his involvement would indeed raise my interest in this show from “hmm, kind of interested” to “hmm, okay, kind of a little bit more interested.” So we’ll see how it plays.

– I missed this the first time around, but this is a pretty neat re-imagining of Game of Thrones houses as modern brands. If you get mental erections from checking out logo designs (I didn’t even know that was a real company) and you’re familiar with the show, then this is the link for you! I like how among investment, telecommunications, and airline companies, the Greyjoys are just a company that runs shitty boat tours. That seems about right.

– The Lonely Island has a new grammar related song, because they are retarded.

– Holy shit, this dude from Belarus died of a beaver bite that severed an artery and caused him to bleed out. That is a fucking crazy way to go. There’s no deeper level of humour here, I am just shocked that it is possible to die by beaver. I always thought they were kind and benevolent creatures.

– We are currently wallowing amid a sea of cinematographic excess with so many movies I want to see already out in theatres, but I cannot help but continue to look ahead. This trailer for The Congress in particular, blew my mind. Robin Wright plays herself as a middling actress (presumably in an alternate future in which House of Cards completed bombed) and sells her likeness and rights as an actress away to be Avatar‘ed or whatever…and then a bunch of crazy cartoon shit happens, I don’t know. Looks nuts. This is almost exactly what I predicted in high school would happen for Aki Ross from Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within in 2001…but in hindsight, I didn’t realize just how dumb that whole idea was.

“Creative control, spin-off rights and theme park approval for Mr. Banana Grabber, Baby Banana Grabber, and any other Banana Grabber family character that might emanate there from.”
“I retain animation rights and we go back to single dip.”
“Done.”

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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