(A Random Post)

I originally had this kick ass post lined up, where I used my amazing wit to link together Vince Carter dropping 43 points and some Japanese guy finishing Super Mario World 3 in 11 minutes.

…but sadly, that post will never see the light of day and the world is now a darker place. Because my new archnemesis posted it first, while I was out fighting crime, working to cure cancer, and reading to orphans. It just goes to show, nice guys always finish last.

Here’s Jess’ link by the way, in case mine doesn’t work. It’s mind boggling to even suggest my links may be inferior, but just in case, you know?

Anyway – it might seem pretty crazy when you first watch it, but upon closer inspection with the proper video game knowledge, it goes beyond just “crazy” and it goes into full “sweet sassy molassey that is so insane that my head is exploding” type stuff.

– I didn’t even think you could hurt Bowser with fireballs. But look at how hard and fast he punked Bowster!

– Did you see all that ridiculous 1UP’ing in the 8th World? He did it with FIRE MARIO. Not just with the feather – oh no – but also with Fire Mario. That is…that is insane. He didn’t just beat the game in 11 minutes, he also maxed out at 99 lives.

– Notice that he gets a star at the end of every single level. (Except once, but more on that later.) I couldn’t even do it standing under the box and timing my jump. But he does it without hesitation, without any change of pace – it’s timed so accurately that the star is just a by-product of finishing the level.

– There is one part where he gets a mushroom instead of a star. At first, you might think it’s an accident – I mean, he’s human, afterall. But no! HE’S NOT! It’s done on purpose, as to skip the precious time wasting fireworks scene for getting three stars! And he still gets a mushroom – the second best! And again, without any change of pace or anything!

Perfection my friends. Complete perfection. It’s like having a perfect game in baseball (there have only been 15 perfect games in over a hundred years of Major League Baseball)…but better. And more fun to watch.

…but it’s all ruined, because I couldn’t post this baby up fast enough. I’ll get you Gadget!!!

Oh, and I brought back the comment system. Super Turbo Ninja Force Comment System Go!!! Remember, they’re above the post, where the name and date are.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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