Three whole days without an update? I am dishonoured. But do not despair – I will commit honourable seppuku, to preserve the name of my clan. …wait, or is it hari-kari? Which one is the non-samurai one? Is there even one that isn’t samurai-related? DAMN – more dishonour!

And speaking of samurais, I’m actually looking forward to seeing this little diddy of a film – The Last Samurai. Tom Cruise – being a The WAMBAG approved actor – already kicks ass. Even Ben Stiller’s impression of Tom Cruise in Celebrity Jeopardy kicked ass. And the trailer for Hellboy has me squealing in girlish delight as well. GOOD GRACIOUS that trailer is cool. And the real beauty of it is that I downloaded the trailer at super human speeds.

I’ve forgotten how sweet it was to go zipping around the internet at broadband speeds. Course I can do that at school, at the library, and whatnot, but it’s completely different from having it at home. Because here, I can download all sorts of barely legal porno, and NOT creep out the next person that uses the machine!

But I have to say – one of the reasons I’m enjoying this broadband stuff again, is my good friend Avant Browser. I love this guy. It’s great because it’s just a shell of IE (so no compatibility issues) but it uses tabbed windows, like Opera. I’d use Opera, but half the pages I hit end up looking retarded through it, so this whole Avant Browser deal is like the best of both worlds. Plus it’s got an integrated Google search bar, a reliable pop-up destroyer, and this neat little feature – you can use the middle click to open links, but out of focus, behind your current window. Doesn’t show that impressive, but it kicks so much ass that it makes me cry.

It’s not completely perfect though. For some reason it organizes my bookmarks alphabetically, and I have difficultly turning that option off. Plus you can’t open links in the same window anymore by dragging the link to the address bar…and that sucks. And you can’t really use it like you can use IE to browse through your computer like I do. The view keeps resetting to icons instead of list, which I don’t like. But it seems pretty bug-free and there’s no difference in loading time…so…I don’t know. It’s a separate program, so no hurt in giving it a test run.

And since I’m having so much fun with this speed, there will probably be no Making of The WAMBAG article that I vaguely promised beforehand. Turns out there just isn’t really anything there in terms of content. Who would have figured? And between my renewed joy in the internet and that whole “exam” thing, I ain’t got much time no mo’. Besides, even when that’s over, I’d rather get back into video games than work on this retarded site. I haven’t played Marvel vs. Capcom 2 for months – I’ve got as much rust in my veins as Sheep has alcohol in his.

So at some point, I’m going to have to borrow a PS2 and finally beat Shinobi once and for all. That game is so difficult it makes my brain explode just thinking about it. Didn’t think it was possible, but it’s even harder than its SEGA Genesis forefathers. And back then I was like 8. Now I’m supposed to be at my video gaming prime, and this game still broke me like a frail china doll. I spent the entirety of last summer trying to defeat this game, but it’s nearly impossible – there was full out screaming, cursing, throwing, kicking, promises to never play the game again, and the breaking, remaking, and rebreaking of that promise many times over. I will defeat you Shinobi. I swear on the life of my beautiful baby Dreamcast – Bessie – that I will do this deed. Maybe not this year. Maybe not the next. But someday, I will. MARK MY WORDS.

But maybe I should just flat out steal a PS2. Because when I beat Shinobi (which will probably happen at the end of linear time), I’ll want to play this sweet baby. “Shinobi’s back!” …well…not really Shinobi – her name is Hibana, I think – but close enough. And what’s funny is that when you Babel Fish that baby, one of the headers says “Run in high speed, become drunk from the shooting position!” And I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty damn fun to me.

But this is what I’m looking forward to the most – this insane looking Soundwave statue from Palisades Toys. That’s actually just computer generated artwork of the model, but they build from that – and it can’t possibly deviate too far from that. If the final statue is even half as cool as those shots, then it would still be very, very cool. Just look at it!!! Unfortunately…it comes out September 2004. At like $130. US. But I’ve heard that next in line is Grimlock (the coolest Transformer EVAR) – and if it looks anything like Soundwave, then surely they can do no wrong.

Oh yes – this a reminder to remind me about getting my dirty grubby paws on a copy of the Transformers: The Movie DVD. I couldn’t find it that one time we went to AL’s (so I ended up buying Dirty Work instead) and it was too expensive that time we went to Max’s, and he foolishly rented Crimson Skis or something instead of Crimson Skies. And apparently, there are people I know – people that I (apparently mistakenly) consider my closest friends – that have not watched this movie. And thus know not of which I speak of when I mention The Scene in hushed whispers, or proudly proclaim it in celebration of its majesty for all the world to hear. The Scene is the finest moment in the entire history of cinematography, and I cannot be friends with anyone who has not witnessed this miracle. So if I ever find a copy of this DVD, we’re watching it.