Ah yes – here I am, stuck between classes, nothing to do, and nowhere to go. And so of course…I end up here. Let me share a post I was going to throw up earlier – but instead wisely decided not to until later. Now is that later. Here’s the title… (Because all the cool people put titles before their posts right? Pft – fags.)

An Ode To Mondays

That – as you can clearly see – is Monday, in all its glorified pbrush.exe terror. I was originally going to type this post up on Monday, but I quickly realized the potential for disaster, and decided against it. But now it’s Wednesday, and I can talk behind Monday’s back all I want without fear of reprisal. …let me describe the picture.

1) Monday is ugly. That’s plain to see. What’s the first thing you think about when you wake up to yet another Monday morning? That’s right – “Ugh…this day is UGLY!” Can’t debate that one.

2) Monday is LONG. It doesn’t help that my three hour (6:00-9:00) Organic Chemistry lectures are on Monday nights, either. By 8:30, I’m trying to slit my wrists with my pen cap. Damned cheap plastic.

3) You can also clearly see the various harmful implements that it carries around – the better to hurt me so. First comes the hateful alarm. It’s set to 7:00, but the time is actually a couple minutes ahead – I just can’t live with waking up to a time that reads 6:something. After the sonic barrage of the alarm comes the double whammy of the mallet and the ice pick to my skull. And then it bores into my skull with a two-fisted drill screw and eats my brains. At this point, I think I roll pitifully out of bed and onto the floor. Which brings me to the next point.

4) Monday is cold. You see that little puff of smoke? That’s his breath freezing in the air. Mondays are always cold. The bedroom floor is cold. The washroom floor is cold. The stairs are cold. The kitchen floor is cold. The milk is cold. The weather is cold. MONDAY is cold.

5) The extra hand that looks like it’s shrugging is because I couldn’t think of anything else Monday would hold. And I had to include it, because BIO150Y1 teaches us biological symmetry – so having five arms just doesn’t work. Write that down, life science kids.

I have seen this beast – and I have fought it. On too many occasions. (Actually…about 1000 times, if we assume there are 52 Mondays a year.) This portrayal is completely accurate, except for the little “artist’s interpretation” bit. Because as you can clearly see – I am no artist. So now you have been educated – watch out for this slimy bastard the next time around.