(A Random Post)

Check it – 2-hit combo! Throwbacks to TWO previous posts.

Let’s begin – in the ongoing hatefest that is my life, the new weekly recipient of my hate is McDonald’s. Though to be honest – even though I’m not a very honest person – I’ve hated McDonald’s for months now. Not because of their fine nutritious food (ONE!!!). And it’s not even because their main mascot is a fucking clown (though that is a big reason).

No, it’s that hateful new advertising angle they’re going with – the whole “I’m lovin’ it.” bit. I can’t STAND IT. Why?

– It’s everywhere. I can’t get away from it. I don’t think I’d mind it nearly half as much if I didn’t see it every moment of my life…but I do. It’s on television for every other commercial. It’s on the radio. It’s in the newspapers as full page ads. And even in Hong Kong, it was printed on the sides of double decker buses, fifteen feet tall. And as soon as you break line of sight with one McDonald’s “restaurant,” you’re establishing line of sight with another. They should just set up shop behind my eyelids.

– You’re McDonald’s! Who HASN’T heard of McDonald’s? Maybe there’s a tribe somewhere in the Amazon rainforest that hasn’t, but I certainly don’t need to hear about McDonald’s again. And that goes for every single damn person in North America. Nevermind the fact that your advertising is everywhere – why do you even need it in the first place!?!

– What’s up with this tag line? “I’m lovin’ it?” I hate EACH WORD – that’s how bad it is. Let’s break it down again.

I’m – WHO!?! WHO’s lovin’ it!?! Me? Or you – the oily bastard in advertising that came up with these retarded commercials? I doesn’t even make sense!

lovin’ – Why? Where’s the ‘g’? Does it make you seem more gangsta? Urban? You want to connect with the youth of the world? Yeah! “Fo shizzle nizzle – dat stumatch be MAD beastin on me! I gots the hungurr! Homey dawg , hook up with meecee Donald, so I can snac on da big mac that I paid for with ma IN-TA-RAC!!! YA HUUUUURRD!?!” No. No, no, no. NO.

it – Again, WHAT am I/you lovin’ exactly? The brilliant commercial? The two bit hip hop singers? The retarded song writer? What’s that? The food? Then maybe you should mention the stuff!

– Your milkshake sucks. Not because it’s triple thick, but because it’s terrible tasting.

…well, okay – I did say I didn’t mind the food. But the milkshake does indeed suck. Also, an interesting point to note is that in Thailand, people don’t each much beef. I don’t know if it’s religiously based or if there just isn’t enough space or capital for a big cattle industry – there just isn’t a lot of beef. So in addition to the standard McDonald’s menu, there’s also a pork burger – here’s picture I took while in Thailand.

“Samurai” huh? Hurm…

TWO!!!

Oh right – and a big kudos for Danny Boy to have been born this day (er…not technically – I need to post these earlier). Great accomplishment. Let me remind everyone that the guy is – he’s 20. TWEN-TY!!! That is OLD. What an OLD MAN. Oh my goodness, I cannot believe how OLD HE IS.

(What’s that? We’re born in the same year? …GOOD LORD!!! I am OLD!!! OOOOOLD!!!)

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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