(A Random Post)

What the hell? No one’s updating this page? Ah…frick. …I’m sorry, but in the absence of a real update for over 48 hours, I will need to resort to sharing half formed thoughts I found in my head while I was commuting home. Please proceed carefully.

– The goodness level of characters in Street Fighter II Turbo is inversely proportional to the length of their name. Who’s the best? Ryu, at three letters. Followed by Ken – which has three as well (but I write my ‘e’ a little fatter than my ‘y’ so it’s almost like…2.9 letters compared to 3.1). And then Guile at five. Blanka has six. Most people would tell you that Chun-Li’s fifty times better than Blanka, but he was my favourite, so he gets the nod. Plus, that hyphen in Chun-Li bumps her to six letters PLUS a hyphen. And Blanka’s real name is Jimmy, which has only five. E. Honda also has six, but you got a period and a blank space. Though in some versions of the game you could move while doing the hundred-hand-slap, which would put him above Blanka. Next is Dhalsim and Zangief at seven a piece, but Dhalism comes first based on the alphabet. And the fact that only one in fifty people could do the spinning pile driver (his only worthwhile move) really hurts the ‘gief.

– These rankings go straight to hell when you factor in the bosses – M. Bison (6), Vega (4), Sagat (5), and Balrog (6).

– If there was a fish that tasted like chicken, smelled like chicken, looked like chicken, and was exactly like chicken in every possible way…would it still be a fish? Or would it be a chicken?

– Who came up with the first ruler? How’d they make it so straight? I mean, ruler makers nowadays can use other rulers to make sure the rulers they make will be straight…but how did they make THOSE rulers then? And then how did they make the rulers that align those? Was there one true, original ruler? One ruler to rule them all, one ruler to find them, one ruler to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them?

– …wait, what?

– You know what game they should resurrect as a first person shooter? Elevator Action. That game was rockage. As was the music. Do do dododo doodoo do do…

– You know what? I just realized that it would be chicken. The guy who originally said it was a fish would be retarded.

…yeah, I need to go to sleep.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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