Kurt

Today was the 10th anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s death and believe it or not, I did not even know that when I woke up this morning. I’m thinking I must have caught something out of the corner of my eye or maybe heard something on the radio without even realizing it, because I was thinking about him on my trip to school today. Regardless of what inspired these thoughts, I’ve felt the need to say something about him all day.

Suffice to say this is going to require multiple songs.

In Bloom

When I was growing up in Avon, aka Small Picturesque Cracker Town U.S.A., there was not a lot to do besides sit around and watch T.V. or play video games. Scratch that. There wasn’t a lot that I wanted to do besides sit around and watch T.V. or play video games. Playing video games involved such classics as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Double Dragon 2 and the ultimate time waster, Bubble Bobble. As for T.V….well thank God for MTV. You know, back when it was actually cool. I remember the first time I saw…

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Blew my fucking mind. It was so damn grimey and filthy and evil and kick ass. I mean, here I am, an impressionable grade 1 or 2er and there’s Kurt Cobain, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic (yeah, I had to look up the spelling) rocking out in this gym that could have been pulled out of any school in America. Sure, being only about 6 or 7 years old I couldn’t properly process most of the imagery (the orgasmic cheerleaders went way over my head), but it was such a visceral thrill and what the hell, this was back in the day when I actually wanted to grow up (GASP!). So I thought, “Yeah, smells like teen spirit”, I get it. And somehow I did. I still remember when I asked my mom to buy me Nevermind, in my opinion the greatest album ever. She thought it was so innocent with the naked baby on the cover. It was the first album that I ever called my own. Then two cousins of mine tried to dub my cassette and they f’d it up. I hated them and Kurt Cobain taught me how to do that. I promise that one of the first things, if not the first thing that I will do when I earn a paycheck is go out and pick up this CD.

And I forget just why I taste

Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile.

I found it hard, it’s hard to find

Oh well, whatever, never mind.

Fucking brilliant stuff.

Territorial Pissings

Honestly, I can’t understand a word of this song except for “Gotta find a way! A better way! Ablehdeblaaaaaaahhh!” And ain’t that enough?

Lithium

I remember that the first time I heard this song I thought I was dying. This song drained the life out of me. I’m so happy because today I’ve found my friends. They’re in my head. I’m so ugly, but that’s okay cause so are you… I didn’t know what lithium was. The song just sounded good. I think that was a major part of Nirvana’s charm. Yeah, they’re grungy and depressing and nihilistic, but at the end of the day it came down to the fact that they could pen a catchy tune. Most of their songs contain a crucial element that much of today’s “hard” rock is missing: MELODY! This song was so pleasant sounding that I thought it was a love song at first. Some love song.

Come As You Are

Again, being a kid I took this as a “be yourself” anthem type thing. It is and it isn’t. Sure, it’s telling you to be yourself, but you’ve got to remember that this song was written by a drug addict.

Come dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach

As I want you to be

As a trend, as a friend, as an old memory

And I swear that I don’t have a gun

Someone give this guy a hug or at least another shot of heroine.

About A Girl

One of the hits off of Nirvana Unplugged. One of the most romantic songs I’ve ever heard.

Take advantage while

You hang me out to dry.

But I can’t see you every night.

Free.

Drain You

Kurt commits suicide. I felt nothing. I didn’t know this guy, am I supposed to be sad? It is the coward’s death.

With eyes so dilated,

I become your pupil.

You’ve taught me everything about a poison apple.

Aneurysm

Beat me out of me. Beat me out of me. Beat me out of me. Beat me out me.

I remember this came out after the dust had cleared. It was an unreleased live track, you know the ones. It’s full of the band’s trademark nonsense masochistic lyrics. And it’s such a Goddamn waste. This is his epitaph? A song about a blood clot exploding in a guy’s head? Later they released You Know You’re Right with the Nirvana’s Greatest Hits package, but this song still sticks in my head. How appropriate.

She keeps it pumping straight to my heart. She keeps it pumping straight to my heart. She keeps it pumping straight to my heart…

All Apologies

You know what really gets me? Is that in the end Kurt Cobain was this selfish fucking loser. I mean, he has millions of fans and people who love him and you know how he goes out? Shoots himself up with heroin and blows his own brains out. I mean, what the fuck is that? It was stupid. Artless. Pathetic. But none of that changes how I feel about him. Forgive me for the rambling nature of this post, but I was surprised at how much went through my mind when I decided to really step back and think about how much I loved this band. It can’t be put into words, despite my worst efforts. Kurt’s legacy is a sad one. He’d scoff at bands like Evanescence, Nickelback, Three Days Grace et al. Yet it is those bands that cater to the audience he created. How fucking sad. But forget legacy and forget the man’s life and just remember his music. I wish I had more time and space to address every song they wrote, cause’ it was a hell of a run.

I wish I was like you.

Easily abused.

Find my nest of salt.

Everything’s my fault.

I’ll take all the blame.

Aqua seafoam shame.

Sunburned with freezer burn.

Choking on the ashes of her enemies.

All in all is all we are. All in all is all we are. All in all is all we are…

Fuck you Kurt Cobain. Rest in peace.