Wallowing In My Own Filth

(soundtrack)

Dope Nose – Weezer

After an insane, drug addled post about hats and a post with wedding photos that none of us should ever have had to witness, it looks like it’s up to me to class up this joint once again.

Before I start, I just thought I’d note that I found a site with the address www.wabag.com after making a typoe while searching for any mentions of our site on the internet, which I often do. I’ll save you the trouble of clicking the link: It’s a “water solutions” company. I figure if we can get our address changed to www.wambag.com, maybe we can get some extra hits if people go looking for that site and accidentily get us. The sites aren’t even that different when you think about it. Eh? Eh? Just a thought.

I’ve been watching a lot of the Olympics. I’ve already watched more Olympics in the last week than I have in my entire life. And it’s all SWIMMING! How many freaking swimming events can there be? It’s like, one for every style (butterfly, breaststroke, freestyle, backstroke) and then different distances (100, 200, 400, 800) and then you toss in relay and the races where you have to switch between styles! It’s gratuitous. It’s like, swim-porn.

There was one great highlight, though. Did anyone see Kosuke Kitajima win the gold over the weekend? If anyone could find video, it would be great (I’m a lazy bastard). The race was nothing special, but after he won, he just started screaming. It was like, “Aaaaaaaah…AAAAAAAHHH!…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!” I can’t explain it, just ask me to do it for you if I run into you.

Bonus points: He cheated and got away with it (then proceeded to win another gold medal on Wednesday).

Double bonus points: His vanquished American rival said after that the screams would “haunt him”. Delicious.

I been working like crazy this week, which is why I decided to take today off. My friends were calling me to go downtown, but I told them to go screw themselves. I rented MVP Baseball 2004 the other day, a game I’ve been trying to track down for about eight months and I’ve been playing it non-stop. Let’s just say that I was wide awake at six in the morning and not because I’d decided to get up early.

On the contrary, I eventually passed out and regained consciousness at about 3 PM. That is bad. I mean, I think everyone here knows that I’m an advocate of sleeping as much as possible, but seriously, that’s BAD. That’s “where is my life going right now?” bad. I think part of the reason that I wanted to get a job is so that I wouldn’t feel guilty on the days where I decided to be a total bum, but still. THAT’S BAD.

I ain’t lookin’ too sharp right now either, if anyone cares. Yao Ming has said that if Team China doesn’t do too well in the Olympics, he’s not going to shave for six months. I imagine that he’ll be looking a bit like me right now. On the other hand, if he can surpass my record of twenty three hairs, I’ll be impressed. Ooh, I think I can feel another one poking through!

I spent a lot of the day listening to The Very Best Of Dusty Springfield. Good times.

Also, today was a good way to unwind before I have to go to Anna’s party tomorrow. I’m pumped to see everyone, but it’s definitely going to take an effort to socialize with all the old peeps again, ya know? I’m hoping I worked out all my vices today.

Then again, Max is coming over early tomorrow morning and we’re going to play ESPN NFL 2005 until the party starts. Of course, this means we’re going to the look and smell of two gentlemen who have spent the whole day playing video games. Now that’s how you prepare for a party.

Oh yeah, one last work update. I love cashiering, blah blah blah, but there is one thing that I regret. When I was a stockboy, I’d bring things out of the back on a cart. Sometimes while I was putting things on the shelves, people would just start taking things off my cart. That got really annoying after a while and it was only a matter of time before I had a Dustin Hoffman in Midnight Cowboy-esque breakdown. You know:

“I’m stockin’ here! I’m stockin’ here!”

I’m a lame ass.

Here’, it’s only half ten. D’you want to come on an’ I’ll show you round a bit, aye?

Yeah…Listen, this is gonna sound kinda stupid: You know the way to the Empire State building?

Fuckin’ tourist!