(A Random Post)

My Favourite Minutes


Turn My Head – Live

My university mates came over on Friday. I told them I’d show them around, which is hilarious considering that my knowledge of Markham extends from my house to as far as Markville Mall. We planned to go out to dinner, but it was really just an excuse to have them come over and force them to listen to Gary and I play some songs for them. And yes, when it’s all said and done, this amounts to nothing more than a massive ego stroke for me. If anyone is curious, Quicklime‘s set for the day was:

1. Hotel Yorba – The White Stripes

A ridiculously fun song to play and an excellent way to start off the festivities (if I do say so myself…which I do).

2. Candidly – Quicklime

I explained to them how Gary wrote this song for a Latin project, but I should have just ripped off Will Ferrell as usual and told them this:

Me: So one night Gary and I were driving and we were pretty drunk.

Gary: Ha ha, I can’t believe you gon’ tell this story.

Me: Ha ha ha. Yeah, well…we were driving along this dark highway when we hit a kid. We got out to check on him and sure enough, he was dead. We drove off, pretty fast. 2 hours later, we wrote “Candidly”.

I think that would have really endeared us to the audience. By the way, it warrants mentioning that the audience was as large as the band itself. I’d invited David (my fellow non-drinking buddy), Julius (fresh from a trip to Hong Kong, my wild and outgoing buddy), Michelle (my wonderful female buddy) and Tanya (THE ICE QUEEN!!!). Only David and Tanya could make it in time before Gary had to go to fellowship, so we decided to go on with the show. David seemed to enjoy it, while Tanya had this look on her face of either melancholy or sheer disinterest. I’m going with the latter, natch.

3. Kryptonite – 3 Doors Down

This was by request. The other options were So Far Away by Staind (chezzy) or Somebody Waits by Blue Rodeo. I ain’t gonna lie, I couldn’t sing Somebody Waits. So Kryptonite it was. An oldie, but a goodie. Plus, I got to break out the angst-ridden/generic rock/Eddie Vedder-wannabe voice. Good times.

4. Seashell Sally – Quicklime

Our gimmicky, sure-fire radio hit. Artistically speaking, once you’ve written a song that includes the words “Bippity-boppity-boo”, there’s really nowhere else to go but down.

5. Vindicated – Dashboard Confessional

I’m not going to front. I think I kick ass singing this song. I was flexing here. It’s hard to sing like that Carrabba cat, but let me tell you, I screamed my damn heart out. My head hurt so bad after.

6. New Year’s Eve – Quicklime

This song is in danger of getting played out before it even hits the radio. Ouch.

Overall, I think the whole thing went pretty well, especially when you consider the fact that A) My audience was slightly toasted after experiencing a 2 hour commute for the first time (come on, guys) and B) Half of the audience was Tanya.

I managed to get Gary out of the house before he was put into a situation where he would have to actually socially interact (you owe ME one, pal!). Then we chilled out until Julius and Michelle showed up. Then we chilled out some more, in my basement no less, until it was time for Korean B B Q! Yeah!

The ride up was sobering. We were wedged into the back of Julius’ car (one of those suped-up deals with no actual space and a license plate that reads FIR3B4LL) so Tanya was forced to rub shoulders with me. Poor girl. I spent the whole ride staring out the window and yelling at Julius to find a radio station with some real music (he’s a techno/dance guy…ugh)

Believe it or not, for once I had to be the go-to guy on a Korean BBQ outing. Me! All 145 pounds of me! Michelle was feeling sick, Tanya was on some sort of “no red meat” riff (come…ON!), and Julius and David are a couple of little bitches. I was being force-fed everything, but I had to put on a brave front for these guys. I had to rep Markham, ya heard?

I should note that Tanya barely spoke during the whole dinner. Considering the things she usually has to say to me, I guess that’s a good thing. But seriously, she’s visibly uncomfortable around me. It’s not just in my head, damn it! Why is it that she feels that just because I had feelings for her that she can’t treat me like she would any of her other friends? I hear all the time about the fun times these guys have when I’m not around, so as soon as she’s around me she suddenly becomes some stick in the mud? I ain’t buying that, homes. I’ve respected her feelings long enough, now I’m just getting mad. I like her, it’s obvious, but even my gluttony for punishment has its limits.

I shouldn’t have let her ruin my night and I didn’t. It was a great time. We went for the ritual post-Korean Bubble Star session. BAD IDEA. I was really starting to feel all the meat as the night grew longer. I could barely breathe. I was doing that thing you do before you vomit. You know, that thing where you can feel your own saliva building up at the back of your throat? Yeah, that. I ended up dry heaving (puking without anything coming out for those who don’t know) in the underground parking afterwards, just before we got into Julius’ car. Too bad. That would have scared the crap out of him.

How ironic is it that I invite my drinking buddies over for a nice, sober night on the town and at the end, I’m the one who ends up getting sick. UNbelievable.

As for the on-going saga that is having a job, I’ve got a few notes:

* I’m starting to get along with most of the ladies at work. None of them are too bad, though nothing spectacular either. However, and forgive me if I’ve mentioned this before, it’s an enormous step-up from the sausage-fest that was working in grocery. I still miss the comradery, that trust that comes with…ah, who am I kidding? I’m swimming in donut now.

* I love how customers try to handle change. Some of them are generally helpful when they give you enough change so that you only have to give them back bills or large coins, while others are trying to just rid themselves of change and slow down the entire line-up. They usually get theirs though when they try unloading their nickels and dimes and I hit them with an assload of pennies.

* I fell in love again today. This time with a customer who I found to be magnificently attractive. Not too short, but shorter than me. Good body. Brunette. Cute face. Her voice was intoxicating, like a Mariah Carey track. The kind of woman who even if I could show her to you, I wouldn’t be able to explain her beauty. Looked slightly older, though I’m not too good with determining age. Maybe she was a 2nd year student like me…or a woman in the 2nd year of motherhood. I can never tell. I saw her early in my shift and I was useless for the rest of the day. I doubt I’ll see her again.


If you haven’t watched the trailer for the new Wes Anderson flick starring Bill Murray (!) yet, check it out. I think I’m a go watch it right now.

All right, look, I’m sorry. I know this is yer place an’ everything. It’s just a bit of a…well, a disappointment, really.

How so?

Because I’ve been wanderin’ round the world for three quarters of a fuckin’ century, watchin’ all me mates dyin’ or gettin’ old, an’ now I finally find someone else who’s gonna live forever an’–well. It turns out he’s a bit’ve a prick.



Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.



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